fird
Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Kundan, India
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
David
London, United States
Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML
HelpMe1
Jakarta, Indonesia
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
jobless
Fort Collins, United States
Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML
gt
Canada
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Anonymous
United States
Nice meeting you
Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words, "You're fired." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML
Anonymous
Today, my boss tried to fire me for not emailing him a screenshot to prove my email wasn't working. FML
inpuredeceit
United States
Legality
Today, I finished and turned in the last of the 17 major projects for the company I work for. As I was walking out of my boss's office, I heard her ask her assistant, "She finished everything we didn't want to do, can we fire her now?" FML
vmml97
Canada
The truth
Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him, "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was, "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML
Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Well, it would be poor form to retire before the job is finished.
Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey 16
Two birds one stone?
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Comments (14)
MidnaLink 35
"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me! Bwahahahahaha!" Although, it might just be an excuse not to invite you to the retirement party.
manb91uk 22
That’s one boring bucket list he has...
Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey 16
Two birds one stone?
RichardPencil 32
He probably knew that you wouldn’t be happy working for his successor, so he mercifully set you free. Yeah, let’s go with that!
Dave_Davington 34
Well, it would be poor form to retire before the job is finished.
RichardPencil 32
You should have used a colon instead of a period after “retired.” Hopefully, your job did not require a firm grasp of grammar.
manb91uk 22
I’m sure there’s a “You’d know all about colons, seeing as you spend so much time up your own ass” out there... However, I’ll keep it in.
RichardPencil 32
I had to have a bowel resection, so I only have a semi-colon.
manb91uk 22
Presumably you caused some damage trying to race the shit that keeps coming out of your mouth?
tonyfan00 38
At least he saved the best for last...
pjsr 33
Just show up tomorrow, ala George Costanza. Your boss won’t even be there to say, ‘What are you doing here? I fired you.’
KrazyKatz3 26
Maybe you are the best employee there and he wants it to look like the company is failing after he leaves so they always remember him...
Chazzster 32
Realistically, I see two possibilities: Either the retiring boss did it at the request of his upper management who wanted OP gone. In that case the retiring boss did it so the new boss wouldn’t look like an A-hole. In that case maybe the retiring boss didn’t really have his heart in it. Or, the retiring boss really didn’t think much of OP, and this was his parting shot. Either way, OP needs to be concentrating on finding a new job and improving their skill set and communications so the next job goes better.