Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML
Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss pulled me into his office and gave me a write-up for quitting, told me that he knows where I live, and that I'd better be at work tomorrow or he's going to come and drag me into work. FML
Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML
Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML
Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my boss sent me a link on how to write a good resignation letter. FML
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Top comments
Streeet_hayley 6
He wants to eat you...no mistake.
InfinityCross 1
Neither. Get him a dictionary
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Comments (221)
Sarkyrevenger 0
Both. He needs b
mrsevilporkchop 1
did you mean "fired"? not "fried"?
holdenthemonkey 3
Getting fried is definately a unique way to go! Signifigant others will reap the rewards of your sacrifice since it is premeditated and documented, and your family will thank you as they spread your greasy ashes on the beaches of Cabo. Also can someone catch your termination on video and YouTube it...to be enjoyed by millions. Great legacy.
bizarre_ftw 22
1) to be serious: Take a picture of the email, document Everything that goes on starting now, then if and when you're fired you can bring the info to his superiors and get him fired + reclaim your job, or - if you don't like your job - just sue and get money free of work 2) tell him roasting is much healthier
rallets 23
3) PROFIT!! also, what happened to your epic tale? i made a correction on it and it all disappeared ... hmmm
miZscrZee 0
HOT GHOST PEPPER SAUCE!
jaredofmo 22
Everything is better with barbeque sauce.
leadman1989 16
When he's trying to fire you say... I'm sparticus and then all your coworkers join in I am sparticus... I'm sparticus.
lizard399 0
You should see my boss's writing.. Every time I read little memos on the side of the schedule I giggle.. but I'm laughing till I cry on the inside..
AJAT 0
You don't even know how to spell F-I-R-E-D so shut the hell up and quit complaining. I'd fire your dumbass too.
AJAT 0
Wow dumbass.
gamerdude66 8
ur a jerk, the boss wrote fried, she was just copying it.
hammy90 0
Or maybe get him some zig zags, maybe he wants to get you high