Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend when I said, "I wish all the weight I gained just went to my boobs." His reply was, "They'd be HUGE." FML
Booby trap
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML
Thanks, honey.
Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML
Epitaph
Today, I asked my boyfriend to honestly tell me if I had become overweight. He replied that yes, I had, but that it was OK because I was his "Lumpy Space Princess." FML
Awful line of inquiry
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML
Roll with it
Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML
Top comments
kkmwong 11
You should have said the same thing about his dick.
mickeygirl 0
"well , did ur dick get smaller, or am I thinking of my ex- boyfriend?"
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Comments (169)
stevenmx86 8
That sucks op.. Did you kick his ass?
changesinme 0
Your turn to ask, did you dick get smaller, or did you gain weight around it?
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
More cushion for the pushin ;)
Stonedmanalex 0
25- People should say whatever they want. If someone can't handle being called something and takes people to seriously, they should grow up a little bit.
SCREAM4meeee 0
25- females are bound by the same laws as males. Slapping someone is assault. Is it worth it because someone hinted that she gained a bit of weight?
Gianca1208 4
Huh? I just asked my girlfriend that not even an hour ago? Weird.
Choose_Wisely 5
55- i agree with you, but this girl at my school recently just got beaten the **** out by a guy she hit... yeah, he was a diuche, but it happens
bubble25_fml 5
55 I hope you realize that you just set feminism back by around 50 years... So much for equality smh.
QuisMysterium 4
Why must everyone jump to saying "DUMP THAT ************!!!!!!!!" Like, seriously. Say you had a boyfriend of five years he makes one comment like this. You're not going to break up with him.
ZTD09 2
I hate it how girls are all "women's rights! Yeah! Men and Women should be equal!" but at the same time can be all "if my boyfriend calls me fat I can assault him but as soon as he touches me his ass should be behind bars." How can we be equal if men get bigger punishments for things like that. (Also no "men hit harder" stuff. I'm talking equal amounts of assault.)
D37H100 5
55, you're fat.
zombicidal 11
oh so men should should lie constantly and never be truthful to their wives or girlfriends it all makes sense to me now
narrowords 18
79 - You get bigger punishments because almost all the time you have more strength. If you use it against a woman, there's an element of fear because she is weaker and can't defend herself. If you had that element of fear from a girlfriend that was smaller and weaker than you and hit you, well, then I'd say you're a freakin' pansy.
BballHottie34 9
#14 that's a amazing idea
shannonreneee 11
87, it isn't very rare that women hit men. Women physically abuse men a lot, it's just taboo. Don't act so naive. My boyfriend makes fat jokes but I am not sensitive, if I was then I would be crying every second. Men aren't suppose to walk on egg shells with women simply because they have insecurity issues, it won't help them or their relationship.
zombicidal 11
you should quit grouping all women together because by doing so you make them all seem weak and that's belittling to them I know plenty of women who can take a joke without crying or cutting themselves
You_Need_Soap 6
What ever! My husband said the only thing he'd change about me was bigger ****. I told him I wish he'd dye his premature gray and be more of a smart ass like me (not kidding). Life's too short to get your lil feelers hurt!
iilovecokee 6
I hate the way you're making women seem. And stop generalizing us by saying MOST. Women are strong, independent, caring, thoughtful and mature. They can handle the truth and especially be mature enough to realize their own reality. If they're fat, they know they're fat. No one brought them to that point but themselves (with the exception of medical conditions). They don't need to be lied to and talked to as if they're frail and breakable. They don't need others, such as your self to make bullshit excuses as to why they should be upset by a SILLY comment. You better hope you have a relationship secure and mature enough where you can speak freely with your partner. We are all insecure, men and women alike. You need to stop watching TV because it's making your perception of the reality distorted. ****, you irritate me.
SolanumX 6
Hey SeeYouInShell- Guess what? The reason that women don't seem like they abuse men as much is: 1) They do. Men don't report it nearly as often. 2) Women who get slapped often times push their significant other over the edge. Husband doesn't mow the lawn, woman harps for an hour, the man just sits there and has his head in his hands. Their kid might get the cops involved, to stop the imminent fight that the woman doesn't see coming. Often times the guys holding it all in, the woman makes cheap verbal insults hurtful comments about things he's insecure about, and then he snaps. He slaps the bitch. Storms off. And from there it's all "Heeee hit meee!"
MissMae93 23
amen, 107! SeeYouInShell, please do the world and all the people on it a HUGE favor and stfu. Thanks.
NinaTatianna 9
#87... ignorant. MILLIONS of men hit their girlfriends or wives. around 95% of all domestic violence is of women by men. To all the guys who argue that it goes both ways, this is not to say that the other 5% of abused men is insignificant, but 95% is a much more attractive number to the general public who cares about these issues. #113.. your idea of domestic violence is extremely warped. you may believe that this is the general case, however it is in face completely false. According to governmental and organizational studies, women are far less likely to report abuse than men. By nature, testosterone in males causes them to be more aggressive and controlling, so the woman, who is generally "motherly" by nature, is in actuality rarely dominant over her partner. All that shit aside... who wants to be called fat? Its not like this FML displays weakness in women.... not many people--man or woman--want to be insulted like that. Yeah its good to know the truth... but you dont need to be an asshole about it. **** gender.
IscoreOnU 19
Haha 113-the girls hormones cause them to be bitchier, and cause the men and their testosterone rage. Anyway regarding your last paragraph. How do we not know it was a joke? It's rather funny and so something I would say and know a bunch of people that would say this on a daily basis. As a joke of course. Just calm down lol.
hossjosh 1
Ok I'm sorry but men are superior, don't get me wrong I love women for sex, cooking, and cleaning but men are stronger typically more intelligent and don't cry as easily, there's a reason women don't get paid as much as men!
TheeJulie 0
Well, did you gain weight?
yourlifeisbetter_fml 0
It had probably been longer than a shower since he last saw her boobs.
StoryOfTheYear 15
By saying "I was getting out of the shower" OP is only giving us the details/setting of the FML. It's not meant that she lost it in the shower. Just that he saw her naked because of the shower.
flockz 20
from the charming personality it sounds lime the boyfriend has, i would say he very rarely gets to see anything.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
16- are you an idiot?
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
You obviously do not have the brain power to argue my accusation because your idiotic comment was completely irrelevant and not related to this topic. I could give a shit of you think Lil Wayne sucks. I don't listen to the ignorant.
karagarren 8
maybe she lost weight and the weight she lost was in her boobs. it is possible
deadman93 8
wow my generations dumb.....
flockz 20
*generation's
Brool_Story_Co 17
45- First of all, her boyfriend didn't ask if her boobs gained weight, read the FML again. Also, when you make a stupid comment don't say "It was sarcasm" just admit you made a mistake and move on.
cheefer 0
But seriously, Lil Wayne does suck.
StoryOfTheYear 15
66- We need to see a little more heart in your apology. I get the feeling you tried to cover up your mistake with more bullshit. For each level of crap piled on you need a bigger shovel to dig yourself out.
SPD935 5
35, obviously you do listen to the ignorant. "lil Wayne" is probably the most ignorant one son of a bitch this world has ever seen.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
76- but some how this "ignorant son of a bitch" is more famous, popular, and richer than you. Even if he were ignorant, which was not the argument I was imposing, he still has made it farther in life than you ever will.
Shrike 24
******* AND...? Stalin made it further in life than that cockhead Lil Wayne, does that change ANYTHING about him? No. Both of you idiots should shut the **** up and stop using this place as a chat room, ya little fangirling *****
iFizzgig 11
99- Thank you.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
99- yikes, look who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning...
StoryOfTheYear 15
111- He's made it farther than you...
SPD935 5
98, everything he has EVER produced is autotuned. How is this making it far in life? He's a fake ass drug addict. He thinks he's some kind of a bad ass and he feeds on emotionally weak people like you.
ATSViper 15
Touche lol
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Anyone who thinks being rich and famous correlates with talent and not being an ignorant ******** or an idiot has a lot to learn about the world.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
And this whole thing came from me stating that another commenter was acting stupid. I didn't want this to be about anything else, but it seems as if today's world has to use fallacies, as turning to a completely different topic and showing what is wrong with that. Accept that you lost an argument and move on.
CherryOnTop222 7
You're an idiot.
dora2297 0
That's weak
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
156- Reason being?
MrKlutch 1
99 go suck a dick and hop off lil wayne
huppypuppy 3
Omg that's so mean!
NinaTatianna 9
maybe yours just look small in relation to his...
HideouslyHuman 10
48-Funny.
frostyman211 2
Join a gym fat ass and he wont think ur fat
huppypuppy 3
Omg that's so mean!
brendonuriepatd 8
Damn.
KiddNYC1O 22
Farooq! DAMN!
mcmayo16 4
well, which one was it?
frostyman211 2
Join a gym fattie!!!
unluckiestperson_fml 14
what a dick
frostyman211 2
JOIN A GYM FATTIE
frostyman211 2
join a gym fattie
rawrkittyrawr 6
Frosty stfu that is all
kkmwong 11
You should have said the same thing about his dick.
flockz 20
no dont do that men are very sensitive about their dick boobs.
thisisafunnyname 12
shouldve said the same thingbout his moobs
chickenwalrus 14
why would he be upset if his moobs looked less moobish
didthatreallyhap_fml 14
lmao #36 this is the funniest thing i have read all day
xJudii 5
What a jerkk .
frostyman211 2
He sounds like a nice guy at least he duznt lie to make u feel good.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
114- then there would be a lot more divorces if the world was like that.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
That's when you kick his balls and then ask if his balls grew or if that's just the swelling that you caused.
NaysWorld 0
Hahahaha