Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
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Top comments
ohhhhshizzz 0
Well sex isn't always good for the first time you have to know what to do. Play with the clit:] Lmao, seriously you have to do all those things for the GIRL to get the ******. Good thing she was blunt
DeafChef 0
you didn't take her virginity. she gave it to you.
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Comments (259)
dreamsmean 3
if it was her first time it probably hurt
i_imagine 0
It was her first time, what do you expect? It hurts for us women the first time. D: Give it a few more times and I'm sure she will then like it.
iFailure 0
Yea that was only the first time, it tends to suck when you first do it. Mostly cuz of the pain, so around the second to third time, she'll probably like it. Fyi no condom feels way better. But don't do it please, you certainly don't need any children. Just saying ;)
thebigslim 13
You know the first time is always going to be the worst.... its about the 4th or 5th time that it really gets good. And then you're an addict!
lmmmr 0
Yeah, because rape is a great comeback.
Bangarang_Rufio 0
You should've turned flipped her over and shoved a couple fingers in her butt and said,"It's usually like this!" and opened your hand lol. "now you aren't a virgin of ANYTHING!" No just kidding but that would've been a great comeback. If you try it, I'd like a call to see how it went.
bubaloow 0
damn, oh well try again with some kinky stuff like bandage whips and vibraters and see if she changes her mind =P
bubaloow 0
erm, probably, but atleast then they have slightly mroe cntrol about how fast or hard it was =P
onigiriqueen 0
Not if you broke the labia. ...basically, if you use a *****, then no, it won't hurt.
Vasir 2
And if she doesn't use a *****, it would (probalby) hurt?
GrapefruitZoe 0
Broke the labia? Um...broke the HYMEN. And yes, it can still hurt like the devil. If you're tight, and he's not small, it hurts a LOT.
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
Do you enjoy playing with yourself only to stop because it's so sensitive?
lmmmr 0
Vasir, it's different for every girl, but in general it does hurt, even if the hymen has already been broken. Unless she has used something larger than her fingers pretty often before, the muscles have never been stretched before, and that is going to cause some discomfort.
Vasir 2
Oh, thank you!
Tubasaurus 0
It take two to tango, guys aren't solely responsible for the quality of the sex.
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
HAHAHAHAHA, broke the labia. WTF.
Vasir 2
Does it still hurt a girl her first time if she did... stuff.. alone, before?
plexico 4
How stupid is your girlfriend? It's common knowledge that the first few times aren't pleasurable for girls. She's lucky it wasn't painful. Sounds like you've got a real idiot on your hands.
zabada 0
I agree with #86. the first time usually hurts like hell or is very uncomfortable for a girl, of course it's gonna be disappointing.
GrapefruitZoe 0
This is not an FML, honey. Might be an FHL. Vaginal intercourse isn't very good for about 60% of women. Play with her ********...that's what you have to do. Sex still hurts for me, and I've never had an ****** in my life. (And I DO play with myself, but I get to a point where everything is SO sensitive I have to stop.)