Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
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Top comments
ohhhhshizzz 0
Well sex isn't always good for the first time you have to know what to do. Play with the clit:] Lmao, seriously you have to do all those things for the GIRL to get the ******. Good thing she was blunt
DeafChef 0
you didn't take her virginity. she gave it to you.
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Comments (259)
gingermonster16 0
Well yea, it's going to hurt the first time hahaha.
anonymomomous 0
hi james
CruelSirDrum 0
well this sounds like a fake FML but ill roll with it for the time being. it happens. if both of you are virgins then give it a bit. you guys will learn and only get better(if its as bad as you say).go get a sex tips book or google what you want to know. anything that will increase her experience. lets face it, as much as us guys enjoy sex, its about how happy the girl is.she isnt happy in bed, guys arent happy in bed.give N take.
desiree_rose 0
i cried my first time. it gets better, tell her that lool.
opalmaster69 3
I gritted my teeth. I think you win though
nataliebear 0
don't worry about it. it always sucks the first time for the girls because it hurts. i promise you, it'll get better within a few weeks.
Bloodrush 0
being bad in bed equates to being a douchebag?
naomi9241 0
The way he phrased it - 'TOOK her virginity' as opposed to being GIVEN it - makes him a douchebag.
slutmuffin 0
You're a douchebag because you claim to have taken her virginity which is just plain douchebaggery for putting it out there (And you're probably really bad in bed anyway).
rightsaidred 3
Um... no. The word we translate as "virgin" could mean either "virgin" in the sense that we use it OR "unmarried". But usually both, as one implied the other. *majored in dead languages*
Dude_fml 0
Since marriage is basically saying in public "Im doing him/her, fyi.", but then for the rest of your life. Among some other vows of loyalty and stuff.
i_imagine 0
What does that have to do with anything...?
jessiebare 0
virgin probably meant not married because it was VERY looked down upon to have sex before marriage. Therefore a most people who weren't married were still virgins
nataliebear 0
did you know that thousands of years ago when "jesus" was born. virgin just means not married? so "virgin" mary could have been with a man for all we know. just saying..
sjbrauch3 0
hmm... well at least she was telling the truth, and now you have some practicing to do!
ohmyerica 0
Where do you get your statistics? It doesn't "hurt like a bitch" for a lot of women on their first time. Don't believe me? Read a lot of the other comments on this page.
OMGQueenB 0
No, actually. My first time didn't hurt at all. It was just unexciting and crap. Turned out, he was just terrible in bed. I'm not entirely sure where people get these "it hurts like hell first time for most girls" statistics from, since me and my girl friends tell each other everything, and only one out of ten of us said it hurt at all first time, and she had a boyfriend with a MASSIVE willy.
HELLOASHLEYLYNN 0
it probably didn't hurt you cuz you or other people have been shoving stuff up there already.
Manny_B92 0
Ah no sweat, if you don't have too much experience that'll be quickly gained by banging her multiple times. and if she was REALLY a virgin it should've hurt like a bitch, so the first time for 99% of girls is terrible.
cosmolatte 3
# 28 FTW!