Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
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Top comments
ohhhhshizzz 0
Well sex isn't always good for the first time you have to know what to do. Play with the clit:] Lmao, seriously you have to do all those things for the GIRL to get the ******. Good thing she was blunt
DeafChef 0
you didn't take her virginity. she gave it to you.
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Comments (259)
thestarsisee 0
Sounds like what I said my first time... And continued to say every time after. I really don't see the point in sex, besides to procreate, which I don't plan on doing, sooo... :P But FYL, indeed.
darkmis1 18
That sux-but it wuz her first time, and the first time always sux-whether it hurts or is just plain boring.
Trixibell 0
If she just lay there, then she seriously needs to sort herself out, i mean come on where's the fun in that. So what if it was her first time, doesn't give her the right to judge on something she clearly knows nothing about, or be lazy for that matter. So yeah, sucks to be you, but she needs to get her arse into gear too, she can't expect you to do all the work. And this is coming from a girl :)
fegd 0
Sex is rarely ever good the first time. Don't take it personally, it's not your fault.
AnnieLennox1954 0
She should know the first time's not going to be great. Don't take it to harshly. My first time essentially lasted less than a minute, it was quite painful, and I bled like a geyser the whole time. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it- she should understand it'll be a little while before it gets good for her. You need to give her a lot of foreplay/fingering/clit-rubbing before, while, and after you enter to increase her chances of having an ******.
CFR 0
Don't worry about it too much...I almost told my boyfriend (at the time) that when we had sex for the first time. He was... "well practiced" too. It only sucked so bad the first couple times because: A) We were way too tense B) It HURT! (it's different for each girl though) C) He had never been with a virgin before. It's just something that you need to get used to. Try again, and definitely think about what she's feeling. Maybe talk her through it a bit instead of just rushing into it. Isn't that what good sex is about? Knowing what your partner wants and giving it to them (hopefully they'll do the same for you).
kt_baby 0
i thought i was the only one! i just lost y virginity last week and asked thats sex? everyone always makes it sound amazing and or painful but yeah i dont think she was insulting you.
youfailSOhard 0
LMAO. FYL and FHL.
seb12992 0
Tell her it'll get better. It's not like sex is always going to be mind blowing. Or maybe she's just not banging the right guy. YDI for making your girlfriend's first time a huge disappointment.
ama17 0
You're a jerk. You "TOOK" her virginity? She took your balls with that comment! Haha YDI
lmmmr 0
That's a pretty ignorant comment. Sex feels nothing like masturbation. When she's never had sex before it would be very difficult to know what works well for her, especially under the pressure of losing her virginity in the first place. I agree that, to a point, your ****** should be your responsibility, but with your logic there is no reason for her to have had sex in the first place. So, you lose.
Tubasaurus 0
I think the point shmaller is trying to make is that without her knowing what she likes she will never be satisfied. It's like if somebody bought some clothes without first trying them on, then later complaining that they don't fit.