Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
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Top comments
ohhhhshizzz 0
Well sex isn't always good for the first time you have to know what to do. Play with the clit:] Lmao, seriously you have to do all those things for the GIRL to get the ******. Good thing she was blunt
DeafChef 0
you didn't take her virginity. she gave it to you.
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Comments (259)
Pongo_fml 0
eh don't feel bad. First time sex sucks for girls. For me it hurt far too bad to enjoy anything.
spillproof 0
ouch. but damn that is funny! Get a book, read up on positions and techniques. Try again.
suzieq57 0
Damn it's depressing reading these comments... Too many people are just resigned to the fact that the majority of men have little to no consideration for a woman's pleasure or comfort during sex, and too willing to accept it when women have pain... If you both expected things to be just dandy without either of you trying, then clearly you're not ready for intercourse. Talk to her, explore more, figure out what's hot and what's not (for both of you!) before you just go sticking it in there.
Mikey_Mayhem 0
YDI or sucking at sex
Kuroftw 0
Don't take it personally, most girls don't enjoy their first time. I know I didn't.
Cerauno 0
Way to treat her right, buddy.
no_day_but_2day 0
Wow. It feels like your ****** is being stabbed? Definately not. Not for me, at least. It didn't hurt, and I was never fingered or anything before that, so it was the first time anything [other than a tampon] was ever in my ******. And itt felt awesome! Haha. :D
suckmyrocket 0
Um, I beg to differ. My first time with my boyfriend was great. Maybe she was just nervous or you're just not that good in bed. :/
pleasetryagain 0
If it was only a few minutes later... then yeah... I think most people would be dissapointed. But seriously, I think you should take her candor as a good thing and figure out what the two of you can do to make the experience better. Too many people just put up with lousy/boring sex because they're afraid of bringing it up.
qwertyuiopz 0
LOL u got DESTROYED