Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML
Today, I woke up to find out I'd had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything because apparently I talked throughout my dream, and she was right next to me listening. FML
Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML
Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML
Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
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Top comments
Sushimomo 0
"Darling, I swear it was about you!"
DocBastard 40
So your ex is hotter than your wife. So what? Enjoy your dreams, and then you can wake up and enjoy your wife. You win twice!
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Comments (207)
braunerzucker58 10
How can you be having wet dreams on your honeymoon? Surely you must've had sex with your wife by now.
Googoo27 12
You can still have wet dreams after sex :P
Googoo27 12
Also, even though you don't usually get wet dreams with sex, but maybe OP hasn't gotten any sex in a while. Just a guess.
raney150 0
If op is on his honeymoon, why would he not have had sex in a while?
loserman67 36
Well, obviously your ex-girlfriend is your ex because someone else became your wife. Tread very lightly here, next thing you know, you're screaming the ex's name as you drill balls deep into your new wife. This other woman obviously gave you things in bed that either your new wife will not provide or you have too much respect to ask her to perform. Either way, you need to concentrated on your wife, make her the center of your every waking moment (without smothering her) and get this other woman off your mind. Or spend the rest of your life having mundane sex with your wife and hiding your secret obsession and jacking off into a towel in your home, or constantly explaining to your wife why you cannot get it up because you blow your baby batter into the sheets everynight. $300 dollars please. Good luck!
PrincessPesa 20
Bang, done! Well said sir.
redrum123 6
You're an idiot
DocBastard 40
your* That's right, if redrum123 is going to make a dumbass comment, he may as well misspell "you're" while he's at it.
Birdie_Sage 0
The correction was good enough, no need to bore the readers.
ohmandapants 17
Yes 37, because clearly we can all control what we dream about. OP, the idiot, is doing it on purpose.
carlistar27 10
it was you're as in you are
DocBastard 40
Birdie_Sage and carlistar27 - reread my comment VERY carefully. I "corrected" him to the incorrect form of "your", because his comment is so very stupid and the incorrect "your" would have been appropriately stupid. Get it now? Still no? Well, thanks anyway for making me explain the joke, thereby ruining it.
Calyx_fml 22
Actually it's spelled yorr.
Birdie_Sage 0
Nooooo, it's definitely *yurr I corrected you all!!!! Woohoo!!!
TwoZeroOZ 2
Doesn't mean anything. Could just have some mild commitment issues and your mind's messing with you.
ohmandapants 17
^ no. She's his EX for a reason and he married his wife for a reason. It's not all about looks.
laurenmacias 0
There's a great marriage ahead of you
Birdie_Sage 0
Wow, your lucky to even remember your dreams... 99% of the time I don't even dream at all. How do you dream in your sleep??? ;(
hqbrat 8
You have to be really tired when you sleep so you can dream
kimmi41509 10
How do you dream in your sleep? Well that's the whole concept of dreaming, Einstein.
BridgetCrooks 3
Your an idiot
titzenpitzer 9
I hope your wife doesn't read FML. And aren't wet dreams things that 13year olds have? It's been a while since I came without ...well...you know
kylesgirlforever 12
So true:) lol:)
immaMonsta 8
#49 Although it it more common for 13 year olds to have wet dreams, it's possible for anyone at any age to have them. Shit happens.
titzenpitzer 9
Oh? I didn't know that..
br0ccoli 15
No, Noor it's not weird. My brother plays that game. I walked by and thought Ezio was such a fox. His olive complexion is beautiful. *sigh* I'm not ogling your hubby, I'm just saying :)
Michael_92 20
I'm weird!!