Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML
Today, I woke up to find out I'd had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything because apparently I talked throughout my dream, and she was right next to me listening. FML
Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML
Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML
Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
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Top comments
Sushimomo 0
"Darling, I swear it was about you!"
DocBastard 40
So your ex is hotter than your wife. So what? Enjoy your dreams, and then you can wake up and enjoy your wife. You win twice!
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Comments (207)
LouiseD_fml 10
Must have a hot wife..
gurly98 13
Really?!?!?
kyarush 10
........ Lol apparently you didn't get it
Birdie_Sage 0
It was a sarcastic comment, smart ones.
Calyx_fml 22
Who is hotter is irrelevant. The ex might have been a troll and the wife a bikini model. All that matters is that OP is still dreaming about her sexually. Maybe it was that thing she did with her tongue.
amandajlucas2015 2
Maybe ur married to the wrong person If ur still having those kind of thoughts about an ex
Torva_fml 16
97- marriage isn't just about sex...
LolFMLnot 10
Just because he is having wet dreams about his ex doesn't mean his wife is ugly. Maybe his ex was better in bed, or he still has some feelings left for her. Sometimes you don't realize what you got until you lose it.
xStaciexLynnx 15
132- Then you clearly shouldn't be getting married...
auzz1_pride 9
and there you go ruining the first comment....
auzz1_pride 9
113) No a marriage should not be revolved around sex, but ones sex life plays a massive role in ones relationship and that's what makes most marriages so complicated, because some men are so afraid of what their girlfriend/wife thinks of them in bed. My advice to OP would be to either find a way to control these dreams or make a decision that will make Both you and your wife happy.
natewilson 9
You know trolls... Smh
Osito2011 9
Op just needs to have some nasty freaky sex with his wife, so much that it will make him forget all about his ex.
Sushimomo 0
"Darling, I swear it was about you!"
gurly98 13
Haha
Birdie_Sage 0
This is like, the same as cheating, no? I feel so sorry for his wife.
TwoZeroOZ 2
"no?" no.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Oh darn it! I misread the FML. I'm sorry, but it still isn't cheating.
bboyworld 6
Funny
emba_fml 13
lol you're not over her
SkoomaKi 28
I hope for your sake OP, you don't talk in your sleep...
copy125 0
Thanks for that captain obvious!
betterNowThanLat 5
Maybe OP is over her, OPS ex was probably just really good in bed.
shanemaximo 7
Your penis has the hotts for your ex.
ladyLALAA 29
Not necessarily, guys can have wet dreams over just about anything.
twifan1901 0
OP: I swear it was about you! Wife: really? Why did you scream Hannah then? OP: it's my sisters name Old fml reference
ArentWeAll 4
I thought that was Brittany?
hahafylop 4
151 is correct.
scarllet13101 5
It was Brittany 151 right
Uramonkey 11
wet dreams? have never had one. Are you not having sex with your wife or something? too much build up i have to say.
Chilombian 0
No shit, Sherlock
doubleohseven 0
How the heck is that an "lol" moment?!? "haha your body wants someone else but your stuck with this lady"
elidine 0
Not possible. FYL no need to lie.
murdersquirrel 15
It's gonna be a long til death do you part if this keeps up...
RedPillSucks 33
So now I'm praying for the end of time To hurry up and arrive.
hodula1 19
...or a short one if this keeps up and wife finds out.
SoSickWithIt 14
12/21/12. :D There's a window for OP's way out.
downtime 13
108, A wife who ends a marriage over a dream isn't a wife you want to keep.
kookysoc 11
Hey 6 that was a good one
kei1108 13
Dreams are okay as long as they don't affect your real life. Be careful and start fantasizing about your wife.
iliketurdles 7
I don't think he has a say in what his subconscious fantasises about.
limblessorphan 4
?
screwyouUpyours 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
When you dream with someone it means that person you dream with misses you. Don't misinterpret your dreams and if you have another wet dream with her wake up your wife with some oral sex to get your ex off your mind.
murdersquirrel 15
Wait, so if someone misses me that person can infiltrate my dreams?!?
andrewl12 0
Couldn't agree more 18, how the hell does the person who misses me somehow make me get a wet dream?? Haha
LaughinStock 16
9 I heard that theory before, but no I don't think thats true.There must have been something about the girl that he must have really liked. BUT!! Op you have to get over it because it might effect the relationship you're in now.
copy125 0
Wow your dumb, the reason your dreaming about that person is because your subconsciously thinking about them. And in the case that he's having wet dreams about her he clearly misses his ex in some way, shape or form.
Zomg_Okay 27
Hold on, 9. So, if I dream about someone it means they miss me? ... ... MEGAN FOX KNOWS WHO I AM!
Michael_92 20
So my ex misses me even know she's the one that ended it. Right makes sense now. Guess I'll call her up. lol
Blakem159 1
U r a gigantic moron
LuckyTroll 6
So Obama misses me?
shoopd 19
46 - *you're and *you're. Check yourself before you call someone else a dumb.
ShyAnn29 15
So based on that theory, a total stranger misses me, that'd be a bit odd!
auzz1_pride 9
121) why is it that your pic looks like a woman about to get raped??
sleet7 4
Lol... you're crazy.
downtime 13
46, I've dreamt about being chased down by a swarm of giant spiders who wanted to rip the flesh off my body. Believe me, I don't miss them. In fact I'd go so far as to say if I ever meet one it will be the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Don't tell people why they dream about things when you really have no idea.
Link5794 18
By that logic, he must have been dating Freddy Krueger.
mikeawesome 0
Is your wife that ugly?
olpally 33
Are you that big of a jackass?? Read the damn fml again!
shoopd 19
91- what part of the FML contradicts that?
jerseyboy732 16
three wet dreams in a row? I mean c'mon
DocBastard 40
So your ex is hotter than your wife. So what? Enjoy your dreams, and then you can wake up and enjoy your wife. You win twice!
narya1 0
Yeah, MERICA!
Crimsos 4
Like a boss.
gibbyguppy 0
That's good advice indeed