Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML
Today, I had to fake enthusiasm when my girlfriend told me she's pregnant. She has a nasty streak and I was planning to break up with her, but if I left her now everyone would think I’m the bad guy. I actually think she’s capable of killing me if she gets angry enough. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
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Top comments
arano 29
Good for you for making the right decision and sticking by your child. However she is a lying bitch and doesn't deserve a guy like you. Put that bitch on the curb and move on.
Moonfate 16
was everything non refundable? Seems easy enough to just bring it back.
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Comments (92)
janfleury 19
If your going to dance in the sprinkler, wear a raincoat. Every. Time.
fhksuaifk 16
Wut
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I'm guessing that's a euphemism for wearing a condom. But even with them there is still a chance of pregnancy.
alphafish17 16
Wait but why would you wear a raincoat in a sprinkler? Isn't the point of playing in a sprinkler to get wet? The coat defeats the purpose.
Bearsmomma 30
If playing in a sprinkler could give you children and STD's, wouldn't you then CHOOSE to have that raincoat?
MandieL 27
If playing in a sprinkler gave out pregnancy and std's, I wouldn't let my kids play in it. But a with a sprinkler, the water goes up, so a rain coat wouldn't be much help. That would be like wearing a broken condom. Condoms are not 100% effective. There is still a small chance of pregnancy with them. So they might have used a condom for all we know. They could also have been in a relationship where pregnancy was okay for them. So not actively trying, but not actively preventing either.
kingdomgirl94 29
Maybe playing in the rain would have been a better analogy.
YoloWhiteRSA 20
Dump her and tell her three weeks later it was just a lie.
MizDisaster 2
ask her to marry him 3 weeks later say it was a lie now that way he gets her excited just like she did to him and lets her fall off that cloud just as hard
Etweens96 25
You seem like a guy that all girls should get; a man who's willing to stick with her when pregnant with your child. But it's obvious to me she doesn't deserve you. Return everything you bought and dump her lying butt!
kingdomgirl94 29
I have mixed feelings about all the congrats OP is getting for sticking around. You shouldn't get a gold star for not being a garbage person. OP did what he should do, and what any non-asshole does. It's not like we all get congratulated for not stealing candy from babies or not punching strangers in the face. Like good on OP for not being a bag of dicks, but not being a bag of dicks is the standard.
Rabite 28
I couldn't agree more. How the hell can people think that it is totally normal to leave your pregnant girlfriend?
jsnoops71 9
So was she dumped and dusted?
HeatherCorinne 14
RUN!
TheNewGuy03 29
Simple and effective advice. This woman is Satan's spawn.
thunderniron 22
Return the baby stuff and the girlfriend. If she'll manipulate like that now it'll only get worse if she thinks she can get away with it, and let's face it, do you trust her now??
interesting33 37
That is true, how could OP trust what she says?
waleedma 18
Well now break up with her without any guilt feelings!!!
ChristinePi 36
It was great if you to step up like that but I would have waited to buy things since there's always a small chance to lose the baby. I think the rule is to wait until 12 weeks before you start preparing.
Aethereal 14
It is hardly a 'small' chance, seeing as a third of initially confirmed pregnancies miscarry. You should always wait till 5th month or so, when it's much less likely.
Bearsmomma 30
Or you could get excited about a baby and start buying stuff. If it doesn't work out trade, sell, return or gift the items. With first pregnancies people either don't know that's considered too early, or they're just super excited. I did and would again start gathering fun baby stuff right away, and I wouldn't judge anyone that did the same.
SilverInGray 25
42 - they're not judging, they're giving advice. Pretty sound advice, too.
fhksuaifk 16
"Break" up with her
heyLaddieHey 18
Return or exchange what you can, then dump her.