Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML
Today, my wife told me she’s pregnant and we went through the whole range of emotions together, surprise, happiness, tears, anger, acceptance, you name it. An hour later she said she wanted to save the pregnancy test for memories. Guess she forgot her glasses, it very clearly says NOT pregnant. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been telling everyone he doesn't want a baby. He has been telling me he does. We have been trying for months. I'm now pregnant and confused. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 19 years has been cheating on me. She told me that all the "cheating music" that she's been playing the last year and a half should've been a good enough hint. FML
Today, I found out that my kids are both my half-brothers, and the fertility tests my wife had us do a few years ago showed that I'm sterile. She didn't tell me until I found the test results in her desk and asked her about it. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
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Top comments
kirrra 11
what a cruel joke, I think your wife has some growing up to do before you both have a baby for real
wolfgold2 20
Fake like you're sterile.
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Comments (78)
kirrra 11
what a cruel joke, I think your wife has some growing up to do before you both have a baby for real
feven 32
Yeah she really needs to grow up, so immature. By the way I was the 69th person to like your comment. Wink, wink.
toaster123 11
lol 69... haha
hashshim 23
42, 46: and the number of ***** anybody gave was... Zero!
Pauline96_fml 20
Wrong. Right now the number o ***** given for #46 is -27
wolfgold2 20
Fake like you're sterile.
Cwizer 17
Wow that is horrible!!! I hope your wife realizes how lucky she is. Geeez
AlaskanG 27
What a bitch.
olpally 33
That's a scary thing to joke about. What a bitch.
Jessj958 19
And a very serious thing to joke about. Tell her you have herpes or something and see if she thinks that's funny!
BigWain 6
Tell her to take a bet about how long you stay at your friend's or family member's house for the year.
damnit1989 16
Um... A year?
BigWain 6
How manys days of the year, context clues. 3 days, 1 week, a month, things like that.
chinaski7628 32
I think #19 was implying OP would be staying away forever.
Moobacca 2
Why should he go anywhere? Kick her ass out.
worldclassrager 41
Well, did she win the bet?
dachayke 16
If she did, OP should use the money on a hooker because even that would be better than doing anything with his wife.
IllestRated 17
An eye for an eye. You know what makes her tick.
Welshite 40
So OP should fake being pregnant?
buttcramp 21
I think #8 was saying "you probably know something that could make your wife just as angry as she made you, so do it"
ramseytt69 8
I agree with everyone that seriously is a stupid ass move! I'm not going to call her a bitch because she's your wife! But they all need to grow the hell up!
SouthernLady12 13
All? As in all women? I really hope that is not want you meant to write!
Rag_dollxx 21
I think he meant all as in OPs wife and friends.
ramseytt69 8
Yes I meant "All" is in his wife and friends!
thatkidmal 15
Well then..time for revenge, yes?