Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML
Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I was drunk and broke my leg. I called 911, only for the cops to turn up and make me try to walk, with them saying that I was faking my injury. They arrested me for being drunk in public and hours later I finally got to an ER. I had to have surgery on my leg. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
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Top comments
krysxkatastrophe 14
Apparently you're so bad that the soap bottle told you to shut up.
matt120784 0
Busted lip? Probably a Chris Brown song...
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Comments (167)
matt120784 0
What a slippery situation!
theaws0m3guy 4
The slip was caused by the soap...
hayq 5
Who invited this guy? ^ ^
elektronictapes 0
i'm not interested whatsoever in your comment, but i adore your picture. just to let you know.(:
GrammaticalNazi 2
1 tried way too hard.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
79- You would be surprised the types of situations you can get yourself into when you shake it like Beyonce in the shower while singing into the soap and I am not only talking about situations when you're(I got you that time auto correct) in jail.. Well mostly I am... Damn this comment is loooong.
humorizer 14
Report the bottle. For too long bottles have been getting away with telling their users to say "I fell on the floor."
humorizer 14
Was it a song by Rihanna perchance?
yety135 3
Nice comment I like it how on earth do you hit your self in the face with a sope dispenser really
tpitzer 1
Sounds like a lawsuit haha
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
102- Also true, but I was speaking from experience with the dancing/singing for I have done so during every shower I have ever taken. 113- what is sope? Is it slang for crack?
tona01 16
102 if you don't give an epic concert when you shower, you are not living. That includes singing, dancing, sometimes make the crowd noises and taking the concert from the shower to your bathroom to your bed room.
SneakyMuffin 0
Maybe the person their replying to?
martialart1st18 19
OP must have been rocking hard
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
What song were you singing?
matt120784 0
Busted lip? Probably a Chris Brown song...
EvilPotato 15
Hit me with your best shot, perhaps.
Cheesecakee 11
Actually i'd have to go with a song off sum41's fat lip album..
6tori6 5
Or I gotta pocket full of sunshine. Easy A
KiddNYC1O 22
SlipNOT.
Decapitation 3
26 - The song is called Fat Lip and its on the album All Killer No Filler. :)
LiveLaughFML 10
Chris Brown's greatest hit was Rihanna.
_Oblivion_ 12
Scar Tissue- red hot chili peppers
enonymous 9
Not one mention of Rubbery Ducky? You guys should be ashamed of yourselves. You've made a grown... Man? I need a few mirrors to verify my penis but I'm sure it's there behind my gut... Filled 24 pack of well oiled abs which I take daily pictures of for FML
ShananaginsLOL 13
How much u wanna bet it was glee
valdancer99 0
Well, theres your problem.
XxREXxX 0
u should have said "dont worry about me, u should see the other guy"
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
Ksshhh** we have a thread jacking in progress...over ksshhh**
mrahhhhh 21
*pssshhh* Copy that, SD20. Please step 2 feet to the side to clear a path for the youknowwhat into the uhhh... threadjacker's head. Over and out. *pssshhh*
white16sox 19
Pssssh* I like making this noise over. Pssssssssssssh*
raaawwwrrZ 8
Pshhhh**breaker one nine charlie alpha foxtrot over Pshhhh**
zombicidal 11
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
NavySEAL13 0
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot he's got a gun Internet cookie if you can tell me what Whiskey Tango Foxtrot means
yourkindacool18 5
what r stiches?
_daniellesays_ 10
Hi
krysxkatastrophe 14
Apparently you're so bad that the soap bottle told you to shut up.
XenaWP 6
But who goes to the emergency room for a busted lip? Drink a cup of concrete and harden up! At most a local GP could throw in a stitch or two if needed. Don't clog the ER.
dirtbiker267 0
Are you from G.P?
TheFunnyzach 3
Ting tong Ching chong.
LacyWings 3
Your comment made me laugh.
macdaddymady 8
"would you hold it against me-bop*"
jasminea 0
not the soap bottle... if anything you should've learned the brush is better
KiddNYC1O 22
Or do like me... bring karaoke machine in shower.
tamie306 5
pawnage!
EvilPotato 15
8 I don't think this us Pawn Stars.
tylersign 11
Are we playing chess..? "Bam! You just got PAWNED!"
GrammaticalNazi 2
1 of the 2 above replies has a girlfriend. The other has an A in school. I can't believe this guy couldn't even the slang right...
tamie306 5
damn you autocorrect!
ninja383838 1
We all do it. No need to hide it :)
cas85 1
Your an asshole for going to the er for a bloody lip. Pieces of shit like you are why the insurance industry is the way it is.
zombicidal 11
I don't see why you got thumbed down so much I completely agree with your comment if you get people going into ER for a cold or a papercut its ridiculous what people do
KiddNYC1O 22
It's the way #13 wrote that. Sounds like a douche.
KiddNYC1O 22
Might I add it was for a busted open lip, not just a bloody one, which most likely required immediate stiches.
ledstratdak 0
after i got bit on the nose by a dog I had to sit in the er for atleast 4 hours. that was fun
lemon_phat 11
A busted open lip is ER worthy? You can't just tell the skin to mend itself back together...
ShroomsOnAcid 17
47 I really don't see what kind of soap bottle this has to be to cause an injury bad enough to require stitches, without OP at least falling down or full force smashing it into his/her own face. I can't picture it being bad enough for the ER.
KiddNYC1O 22
53- Where else would you go? 54- I understand but the end result is a busted open lip. He took that bottle to town lol.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
It probably wasn't the bottle as much as it was Op's teeth cutting the lip open
KiddNYC1O 22
She* Also, some bottle caps have sharp edges. Try slamming one on your lips to see if stitches are required or not.
stacianichole 2
Agreed, I knew a girl that went to the ER because her cat scratched her, and another that thought her diarrhea was caused by Toxic Shock Syndrome. Idiots.
Kendall_Cali97 8
Agreed I don't see why people go to the ER for stuff like that, and how on earth could a soap bottle do that much damage...?
Enslaved 38
We don't know how deep the cut was. Maybe it did need a stitch or two. Especially on the mouth since it tends to move quite often and the cut could continue to open up and not heal properly. Come on, it's on her face. Who wants a noticeable scar on their face?
elementalz 2
Maybe they have no choice bcuz the fuckfaces before them went to the ER for stupid shit like a cold and other crap insurance is screwed up right now maybe his/her local doctor isn't taking their insurance anymore so the only place left to go is the ER which is basically forced to take ur insurance this happened for me just to see if I had strep throat or not trust me no one want to wait in the ER with the drunks
taradeborde87 3
109-Why don't you take the time to find a new doc that does take your insurance? That would take, what, three minutes of phone calls, and a lot of family doctors have walk in appts. Would be faster, easier, cheaper and less of a headache for you/everyone else. Not trying to be rude, just thinking :)
013 1
Sorry but pretty sure you can't do enough damage with a soap bottle to equal going to the er I put a car threw a tree bigger then a telephone pole doing 55mph with no seat belt and didn't even go to the doctor
barrowkite 4
Well if i was paying hard earned cash for med insurance id want t get my moneys worth, however we have NHS so i don't need t worry.
elementalz 2
145- think I haven't tried the only doctor left in town that takes r insurance is a vag doctor and that won't do me much good anytime in my life considering I'm a guy
stacianichole 2
Not sure I buy that story. Besides, you can always look for a doctor in the next town over.
white16sox 19
When I was two years old, I fell off a chair that was about three feet off the ground. I had to go to the ER because I had split my lip open. Then again I was 2 and OP is a grown person.
zombicidal 11
what song were you singing I like to do "I'm not a vampire" by falling in reverse
daysleeper666 1
HOLY SHIT! So do I!!!!!! :)
rebekahah 7
Haha me, too :) SUCH a good song!
awesumchick 0
Ouuuuch... I cut my lip with my nail it hurt
marzey321 9
I tried to get my lip pierced he stuck it in half way and I screamed and flailed my arms.... Guess who docent have a piercing...