Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, my 35 year-old sister, who has no job or life, came downstairs and told me she knows I can hear her thoughts. FML
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, I was stalking my crush's sister's account and I checked her family highlight. Little did I know, she had my ass out for a treat. Tell me why I felt like those cartoon rats falling into those mouse trap. SHE HAD A HIGHLIGHT TRAP! My crush ended up texting me, "Are you stalking my sister?" FML
Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML
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Top comments
orphinz 3
I've almost found you :)
ifailplzinsultme 0
A greyhound is stalking you? Woah!
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Comments (165)
mhinaj 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lol
Jojo08_fml 0
ydi for letting your sister go through your stuff(:
volley4eva1698 0
13- he didn't...
hatepineapple 14
You may never have a girl wanting you again. Bang the SHIT out of that.
lexeous 4
Insightful post, #1. Bravo. There's so much meaning behind those three letters, a tear welled up and slowly slid slightly down my cheek.
KingGeorgeGal 12
Wtf, your sister is a dumbass and pathetic if she has to sell YOUR stuff, especially to a creeper. I would have a serious talk with her if I were you.
iSitt 0
so you wrote this to ... brag?
XXscenekidXX209 0
lmao!!!! this is some funny stuff!!!!!!!!! i died laughing
Jammy01jams 2
selling your clothes to a stalker? That's a paddlin. Slap that bit sh!
dolphincheddar 10
so sell your sisters panties to the old man across the road as revenge. or send in a resume with her information at the nearest strip joint or pornography film company. easy peasy lemon squeezy
HollyoaksFan93 9
1 - Seriously? You have the chance to write the most epicest comment ever and you go with 'lol'...?
iSurf_fml 8
92- Thermals? Those carry scent well. I'd have an escape plan if I were you.
zendaddy0 0
if she's hot tap her and run if she's ugly just run
Cleao18317 11
dumbass he didn't let her look through his crap. and it's not like he's in his room 24/7 to monitor everything that's going on so STFU!
Crunch_Captain 1
seems like someone wants to be like OP
ifailplzinsultme 0
A greyhound is stalking you? Woah!
volley4eva1698 0
I smell you...I can tell where you are from 50 miles distance...mwohahaha...I know your scent
DropDead77 11
Ummm
enonymous 9
It was a rough night. I was drunk... the peanut butter jar was there... She just got carried away thinking it was more than it was.
KingGeorgeGal 12
She's one hell of a dawg.
RetardedBullFrog 4
sounds like something from that twilight movie.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
What a crazy female dog
madhukar 3
beware of doggystyle :D
Cloudmaker 3
It's bloodhound, not greyhound, actually crazy is as crazy does I guess
ifailplzinsultme 0
NOBODY THUMB THE COMMENT UP! IT HAS 69 THUMBS UP! ALL CAPS FTW!
manda_smith92 3
haha I actually didn't catch that
MoCheezy23 0
me tooo! (Sarcasm)
onefinemess 11
Lol, more like a bloodhound but exactly on the same lines I was thinking!
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
That is the creepiest thing I have ever heard. But it's hilatious. FYL.
FMLsOhilarious 6
.....it's what?
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
hilarious* damn.
GoneClubbin 9
at least it's the creepiest thing YOU have ever heard :!
MoCheezy23 0
yeah, but it's "hilatious"! :]
raymel 5
lol lol and lol she's a keeper :)
Freeze_fml 17
No, just a creeper.
FlipInBrosky 4
No, she's a keeper's creeper!
Babydoll4ever 7
she's the creeper's keeper :3
Babydoll4ever 7
she's the creeper's keeper :3
boricualuv 29
really creepy and i guess your sister really needed the money that sucks FYL
orphinz 3
I've almost found you :)
theubersauceness 1
The stalker chick is Borat?
bringmepieskm 0
don't hate
MoCheezy23 0
& if it is?
theubersauceness 1
it makes it better. -sniffs shirt- Very Nice!
staychill 16
what a terrific sister.....not! borat^
jellybelliez 0
that's called stalking
iSurf_fml 8
Really? I did NOT know that...
volley4eva1698 0
I thought it was called flashabadoobedoowopdamah..learn somethin erreday
KingGeorgeGal 12
Thank you captain obvious (:
mahomie97 7
thank you captaian obvious
hannahtaskey 9
No it's called no shit Sherlock
morganxangela 0
Oh my gosh! Really? I DID NOT know that!
thetrollyoulike 6
oh I thought the FML told me otherwise... *sarcasm*
CsDy1395 6
wow, I didn't know op's "stalker" earned that title by stalking. strange... [/sarcasm]
Gorillaninja 0
Are you sure the sister isn't the stalker?
iAmScrubs 19
Tonight, while you are sleeping, you will notice your window slowly opening. You will walk over to see what is going on and suddenly your stalker will make her attack. I am only warning you once my friend. Listen to the prophecy.