Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother-in-law's wife sent me a text venting about her argument with our mother-in-law. She also said said some nasty things about her and I mistakenly shared this info with my “trusted” husband, who immediately told his hot-tempered-momma's girl-IDGAF attitude older sister, who now plans on beating her ass. This is bad. FML
Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML
Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my phone and saw a post from my nephew's mother, my brother's girlfriend. She has a swollen eye that my brother gave her. I've been telling him for months to get his temper in control, and now he's facing possible charges, and she's utterly traumatized. I wish I could cut off relations. FML
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Top comments
macrosoft 3
Hey sounds very caring, you should thank him
vctrmora 0
He's just keeping him "pimp" hand strong!
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Comments (144)
macrosoft 3
Hey sounds very caring, you should thank him
AnonymousTroll 2
Challenge accepted...
JiggaJayZ 16
IM RICK JAMES, BITCH!!
helloimmia 4
Well, at least she got what she deserved.
MagicallyFat 12
Dude ur uncle is awesome
JustAnotherSlap 0
I wouldn't see that as an fml.. Quite hilarious. :)
Keyman1212 14
Hey, he keeps it real. Does your uncle happen to be A Pimp Named Slickback?
NavySEAL13 0
At least he didn't say he was gonna Chris Brown a bitch
1bluesky1 6
Well he told her!
SirObvious 1
Sounds like a G
thaCODgod 4
your uncle is cool!
reddawn85 8
Well, ask and you shall receive...
EpicPear 0
Hahaha. The two commentators above me have ironic pictures.
Neonnight 0
I want you uncle
HideouslyHuman 10
K
daphish 10
44: Boondocks reference?
reddawn85 8
75- that is awesome.
shadowboy94 0
Now you know not to f**k with him. Lol
kyarush 10
That's mighty badass of him.
H3YG1RL 0
I swear that the uncle is black
Imgonnahaveabf 9
Your uncles kickin' ass like a true OG.
vctrmora 0
He's just keeping him "pimp" hand strong!
Buttsexpirate 9
Bitches get stitches, I'm just saying. By the way does your uncle happen to have a fedora and a purple suit?
WowUStupid 0
That showed him
Qu1ks1lv3r 3
Wayne Brady's gonna choke a bitch
chickenwalrus 14
so... is your uncle black or just awesome?
MrCoolPants 7
Thank you ray...
Laterial 3
Uncle Ricchard, Jr.
NoRegretsCA 7
o.o
Ecklcakes 15
O.o
Stonedmanalex 0
o.O
kaoriblossom 8
:D
ishida1235 0
O.O
Astroman129 7
leftovercrack 0
:B
ElainaCutsYou 0
Posted
kingtootinpootin 3
i wish that was my uncle
TheiMightyKhaL 2
Hell yeah!
TheBlackCops 0
That's how I keep my hoes in line...
hoodasswhitekid 0
That's how you gotta do it in the hood
minisquid 9
Uncle? More like Big Daddy... Still, this FML is made of win. What an awesome family, OP. My uncle is obsessed with basketball and late night cooking shows.
CherryBomb511 3
I bet she got the message loud and clear though.
DudeBTM 8
You should be thankful.
RoseCrystal 17
*gives a standing ovation* whatta uncle!
DontModMeDammit 10
Got to love Facebook.....