Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
dz_zb 0
that's what you get for trying to have a sexual relationship with a minor.
Mattyknows 0
Provided you're older than 16; which i doubt seeing as your girlfriend doesn't know what a "*******" is; but should you both be over 16. You get all of this girls innocence; indulge in knowing the way you like it is going to be the way she does it; cause it'll be all her first time. I'm just trying to see the positives here. At least she's all yours; and isn't a *****. No experience? Make some experience then; she had your grimy little penis in her mouth; the girl likes you! Jesus. Whiny little bitch.
partake_fml 2
i that a FML ??? Are you serious? #28 is right, you're a whiny wanker !! Talk to her instead of putting your dick in her mouth expecting something great from her ! And I don't think you master *********** either.
haboo 0
you should thank your god that its not called a "bite job" or else you wouldn't have a penis now ;)
bella_brasil 0
Omfg lmaooooo!! This is one of the funniest fml's.
itsTiffany 0
Your girlfriend is pretty dumb. Better luck next time?
belibelaba 0
crocodile ****!!!!!!!!!! mr. wooden alligator rule bitch wwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww
LuckyCharms_fml 0
You're an idiot for thinking that's a FML. You have an innocent girl who obviously hasn't been giving it away to half the neighborhood you should be grateful not complaining about her to the internet population.
Majormaxo 0
She is obviously extremely sheltered. Why hadn't you noticed this before?
youswallow 2
how the hell is that an fml? i'm sorry but uh not everyone is familiar with the term '********'