Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
J4M3Z 0
i totaly agree with # 257 Too much stereotype Personaly tho i prefer the innocent type of girls :P
IUsed2 0
"oh noes!! I have a pure girl who doesn't know how to give a proper BJ, my life is in ruins!!" you're dumb OP
gummibehrs 4
YDI for being a disgusting pervert. Oh no, she doesn't want your **** in her mouth. Who can blame her?
quizikall 0
hes not a pervert you ******* dyke
yay4felix 0
"Oh no, I have a girlfriend who wants to please me!" Worse things have happened.
raymm 1
I don't see any whining. He's just telling the facts, not complaining. Its a charming little story.
RegisteredNow 0
Sounds like she hadn't done it before... I need to find myself a mouth virgin. Teach them how to do it just right. ;)
TheChanel 0
so I'm curios, since it's been quite a hike since you posted this, did you stay with her or leave her?
moopsy234 0
did anyone stop to think maybe she didn't want to give him a bj and decided to use humor or somthing?? that's what I wud have dun he'll I'm not bout to giv anyone a bj I see no point in them.
Zer0_Zer0 0
I don't think many men see the point in you, am i right?
BJsSUCKandImAMan 1
First off to #290 Zer0_Zer0 I am a man and I hate the Idea of a ******** I had a gf who claimed that was her specialty but I told her that I am not interested, so I am just fine with any woman who refuses to give blow jobs. Second I made this account just so I could reply to this. I also don't think that this is an FML, it's more like a MGFISTM (My GirlFriend Is Smarter Than Me), or a MGFHSR (My GirlFriend Has Self Respect). Now to the point; you go girl.
tuxman12 0
hahahahahahahahahahaha