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FMyLife
mysidesaresplitting Oxford, United States

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

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Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

ravenevercross 19

Damn. That sounds painful.

perdix 31

Why were you using broken ribs? Did you run out of toilet paper?

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Comments (84)

ravenevercross 19

Damn. That sounds painful.

MsSoulReaper 27

Doesn't sound painful.. It is painful >.<

theHIGHroad2 5

That sucks.. But Wait until You have one those sudden Sneezes, You will see flashbacks of everything that's sad in this world. I feel your Pain OP

lilhellian 27

Maybe that is why this is on FML #1.....

codyjohn17 5

That's a shitty situation.

cooper_trooper 9

Hopefully they're not one of those people that sneeze 5 times in a row

GothickNihilist 15

It is excruciatingly painful. I know because when I was ten I fractured three ribs three times. It is the worst pain you could feel, and you have to deal with traumatic arthritis for the rest of your life. I hope you feel better OP.

GothickNihilist 15

It is excruciatingly painful. I know because when I was ten I fractured three ribs three times. It is the worst pain you could feel, and you have to deal with traumatic arthritis for the rest of your life. I hope you feel better OP.

Sandman366 6

45-Hanging the body for public display or need some help disposing of it?

SenselessPattern 12

45 - You need a permit to hunt Shitty Situationites here. A license will cost you 35$ upfront and 5$ per kill. It doesn't include First-ivores, however, as the mods always have priority over their hunting grounds.

patebishop 7

I've broken 7 ribs at a time before. I understand OP's pain. It sucks to sneeze too. :(

lilhellian 27

Hey hey! I'm the assassin and only I give out the permits.. >.> They have to join my assassin guild to get one.. >.>

BlondBeachBunny 4

Ouch that sounds brutal. Having bronchitis with bruised and broken ribs is also quite torturous.

gman90210 18

I know exactly how ya feel. It is even worse with herniated discs and pinched nerve. But sorry to hear ya have that problem mend fast and well

randomthing 22

Can only imagine how much that must hurt.

krad204 21

It would be better if he took some laxatives...

ohSNAPyall 27

Stool softener.

SlenderMann 10

Yeah, I flinched when I read this. Ouch.

AKGirlinSD 20

To every one who suggested stool softeners or laxatives: it doesn't make a difference. I feel sorry for when OP finally sneezes. When I broke 4 ribs, my first sneeze made me cry like a little girl, who was 5 years old, that just feel off her bike. Coughing hurts just as badly. I hope you recover quickly, OP, because the healing process takes a while and and I know you're not in a cast. Best of luck on a quick recovery!

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Don't sneeze. Just some friendly advice. If you feel one coming on, plug your nose, inhale through your mouth, and hold your breath till it passes.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Dumbasses!! GTFO, 31...

GothickNihilist 15

Interesting. What happens if you scream TAQUITOS?

ReginaEvolution 2

Or couldn't you place a pillow around the area or is that only for abdominal surgery? Or maybe he could ask for a stool softener?

CorruptAngel920 18

54- It's longer, but I've noticed, "Quick! What color is a white horse?!" Works all the time. Sad to say pineapples didn't on my friend.

boarderlyne17 8

56 - I know I often clutch a pillow while I'm pooping... On second thought, no. No, I don't.

M_for_Matt 2

Or take your finger and press on your upper lip right below your nose, there is a nerve there that will stop the sneeze.

pradip 26

If it makes u feel good, it's better than having hiccups with broken ribs.

ryry013 6

He felt bad because it hurt. Telling him that won't make his memories hurt less. It will only make his future more scary.... poops and hiccups.

LiterOfCola 16

It's better than pradip's comments' thumbs down to thumbs up ratio, that's for sure

pradip 26

Actually i was referring to a FML which was: Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML 14-that's encouraging till yesterday, there were just thumb downs and today you are considering ratio!

MURIKKA 11

5- For some reason, whenever I see your profile picture, and then see all of the thumbs down, I laugh uncontrollably. Your comments just seem so much funnier and I'm not sure why.

lilhellian 27

Pradip I'm pretty sure you're just being thumbed down because you're you...

enormouselephant 15

Your #17 comment was actually good! Poor pradip...

Tessy7 9

More like poor OP

A_Hernandez90 2

Ben Roethlesgerger? haha

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Way to butcher his name.

Fishinaddict22 1

No, Tim Tebow. Lol

KiddNYC1O 22

His name was butchered in the first place lol.

ICastillo 25

Well Op in that situation it would be best not to push. Just let it go as long as it takes, slow and steady wins the race here.

perdix 31

Why were you using broken ribs? Did you run out of toilet paper?

crazytwinsmom 25

Try Miralax. It doesn't make you go, just makes it easier to go. Slides right out. But not real runny, just soft.

TheDrifter 24

Taco Bell for lunch with a nice Butter Chicken dinner. Works every bit as well, and tastes good too.

TipOfTheHat 10

Okay, I don't want to be anal, but enough with the ribbing, crappy jokes aren't nice when someone's in pain!

thewife5 19

You might be on the wrong website...

RedPillSucks 33

ooohhhh, anal with broken ribs. That's a trooper, right there.

mydadpulledout 17

18, it could not have been anymore clear that they were using a clever play of words to be humorous...some people are just so damned dense.

kobelstone23 13

I see what you did there...

loserman67 36

My advice to you, lay off the fiber for awhile, eat lots of greasy foods and turn those turds into soup. I think that a good case of the soupy ***** is better than trying to push out Lincoln logs. Good Luck!

Brandi_Faith 34

Just a question, but isn't fibre supposed to help you go easier and softer? You know, like bran fibre? I'm pretty sure it is. That's why some doctors give you a list of high fibre foods to keep in your diet after a colonoscopy. We may need Doc's opinion here...

Rosie_Posie43 12

Too much fiber not enough water = constipation. Fiber and lots of water = regular. Diarrhea-ish would be less painful for op.