Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriend's shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
Today, I realized the only way I can get hard is if my partner rubs my back and hamstrings for an unreasonable amount of time. My boyfriend thinks I’m being manipulative. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jasonf00 1
Um, she did say "backwards" so giving herself oral still isn't happening.
tcharbs 0
what an idiot flexibility=tons of hot positions you should find a guy with an emotional age over 5
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
SulfurPlague 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's freaky as hell, I would dump you too. Ydi.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
GAY!! >.>
SulfurPlague 0
no you
afroninjashuffle 0
your a girl
mzeemzima 0
that's every guys ****** dream... apart from **** buddies
DethMetal666 0
118 I freaking love your fro!
millionaire93 0
dude your fro....
jasonf00 1
Um, she did say "backwards" so giving herself oral still isn't happening.
brainsoverbeauty 21
Wow! I fail to see how this is a bad thing. You can have sex anywhere in almost any position.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
yeah but if she can bend that far back, who's to say she can't bend forward enough to give her self oral? :o
BagleHead 6
her ribs say so
Syntax_fml 4
99.99% of people who can bend backwards that far cannot bend forwards anywhere near that far. 99.99% of people who can bend forwards that far cannot bend backwards anywhere near that far. It's a this or that kind of thing. very very few people can bend both ways.
blgjohnnyy 0
98% of stats are made up on the spot...
uberletepoon 10
hey come on, only 37% of people know that
noeryu 1
and they are only right 10% of the time
jonan1212 5
we lie 46% of the time
dirtyblond 4
i ride my horse backwards 27.536% of the time
morgan320 0
I slay horses 9.87% of the day every day.
mygreenhoodie 0
about 92% of the people above me are gay
Hockeyboy4280 18
108=win
Hockeyboy4280 18
Or should I say 100% Win
DKjazz 20
In bed.
DKjazz 20
Argh, damn you! I wanted to be the C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!
BrittyBFMV 0
Lol agreed.
mjeter86 3
Stop making shit up! ever heard of a ballerina? i used to be one and all the ballerinas i knew were able to bend that far backward and forward. same with gymnasts. there are millions of people who can bend both ways. look it up before u decide to go around reporting erroneous statistics.
katburton13 2
Millions?
Scarshadow101 6
I think we might be over-exaggerating a little bit here. I don't think millions of people can bend that far one way, forget bending that far both ways. Maybe we should all take a chill pill and go cuddle with our tutu's, 'kay?
mintcar 10
WTF? How old is your boyfriend? 12? Its okay, you deserve someone who isn't so immature.
mintcar 10
WTF? How old is your boyfriend? 12? Its okay, you deserve someone who isn't so immature.
tnfan 3
he sounds really guy
you_failed 15
What do you mean by this? O____ô
Ariasmake_1 0
I thinks he means "gay"
tooFLY 0
let's assume he does mean gay.... that's still a heck of a typo
kportal69 5
it's not like the a and u are right next to each other or even on the same side of the keyboard. dyslexia can't even **** that one up.
xX1232Xx 6
could be predictive text on his iPod or iPhone o_O
afroninjashuffle 0
most likely that one. happens to me sumtimes
meowmeowwkitty 0
nice fro yo ;)
mintcar 10
WTF? How old is your boyfriend? 12? Its okay, you deserve someone who isn't so immature.
imperialtl 12
And someone who is willing to use this new found ability to have sex with you in amazing new ways.
tcharbs 0
what an idiot flexibility=tons of hot positions you should find a guy with an emotional age over 5
cathylee22 4
He should love that!! Most men would oh wait that means you are dating a boy...no wonder why he can't appreciate your flexability or use his imagination to both of your advantages!
JokersChild310 0
ha agree! hate little boys with sex insecurities!
Keyman1212 14
I would take a girl like that to pound town, this kid is ridiculous.
cathylee22 4
pound town lol...you made me giggle haha points for you!
acelucas 0
I would marry a woman like that. can anyone else do this for me?
TexMex1993 0
hey
SamuraiCER 1
Nah, need 2 kick old dude 2 the side
guppy40000 0
men like that dont they? flexible women.
rockhound 0
Yes. Yes we do.