Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriend's shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML
Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
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Top comments
jasonf00 1
Um, she did say "backwards" so giving herself oral still isn't happening.
tcharbs 0
what an idiot flexibility=tons of hot positions you should find a guy with an emotional age over 5
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Comments (161)
Mister_Grinch 0
I think he's using that as an excuse for another possible bad quality in you.
chrstygrl06 10
He can't compete with you now that he knows you can give yourself pleasure! Haha seriously though, your boyfriend is crazy!
Sinkhole 26
Stupider is a word, it might not sound right for some people, but it's not wrong. Besides, you should check your grammar before correcting someone, if you wanted to correct that part of his comment, you should have said "more stupid than I".
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
I don't get it either? Is he jealous he is not as flexible or is he jealous because he thinks your learned it from dozens of carnie ex BFs? What is w/these guys? If they are so immature they are too young for relations!
jsmathwiz 2
^This. I hate when people do not understand elliptical structures.
perdix 31
You look too weird in that position. He probably thinks you're spineless.
TeeHee124 0
1 that's creepy as hell
SneakherHead 5
maybe he's a fag who does gymnastics and he's jealous of you
cbr600_fml 0
wow that's hot imaging the possibilities for sexual positions
MissFukMyLuck 0
wow. 'more stupid than myself'? damn public education...people expect such mediocrity from our future generations....