Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed. The surgeon took a better X-ray to see what he was dealing with before he got started. When he came back into the room, he started to laugh and told me it was my lucky day because in the X-rays he found 2 big extra wisdom teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. The local anesthesia worked on three of the four teeth. I found out about the last tooth when the dentist was mid-yank. FML
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Top comments
Star18lk 0
What a jerk!!! He might only want you for sex, Look for clues! Hope you feel better!
xundria 5
Hmm... yeah, leave him.
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Comments (246)
xxnotstephencolb 0
in all fairness, i'd ask the same thing
Igor_g5 0
A lot of you people that say to dump him are jerks. You don't know what their relationship is like. I start being concerned about when then next time I can have sex with my GF is the morning after we had sex. And I usually sneak attack her. But that doesn't mean I'm not in love with her. We have a lot of great times together. And we are great friends. Just I like to have sex every morning and every nite.
ifinishlast 0
it's just something for him to look forward to. no biggie
YDI_King 0
YDI for sucking his best friend's dick
Trixies100 0
well yeah maybe that shouldn't have been the first thing he asked but I bet if you would ask the same damn thing if you were him
sleekRelease 0
37, get off FML and continue trolling on /b/.
Serec 0
lol kinda sexy
Cinn_fml 23
Hm, I'm not sure I'm seeing the FYL here. It depends whether or not he was joking at the time. He might have been trying to make you laugh to try and cheer you up. Though I dunno how much it'll hurt to laugh. But I can't help but think you'd know if he was only interested in sex, you never know, he might have been thinking that'd help cheer you up too. Whenever I see FMLs like this though I can't help but think that it's just someone taking a joke the wrong way, but maybe that's just me being naïve.
furburger 0
Geez, hypocrite much? You were going over there hoping your needs (comforting) would be met. How dare he be concerned about his eventual needs? I can't wait for 'The Squeakwel' to this one. Today, I got my period and the first thing my BF asked me was, when do we get to have sex again. FML
Cristaderzi 0
So um when can you give him his again??? Women were given as gifts too men so this niether a FML nor YDI its just is... Wait until you get married OP this just the beggining!! It life...
uprising_fml 0
I hate psychopathic idiots like you . if 'women were given to men as gifts' , then womens gift to man will be biting every dick off we come across .