Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML
Today, I'm finally recovering from surgery to fix my severe underbite, which included breaking my upper and lower jaw, forcing my teeth to line up properly, then pinning them until the bone healed. My wife can’t mentally cope, because I no longer look like the man she loves. She wants a divorce. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML
Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML
Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
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Top comments
viaaaaaa 22
Try not to think about how much she resembles a squirrel
WCARlover 35
When I had my wisdom teeth out I sent pictures for people to laugh at. She sounds like she needs to lighten up
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Comments (90)
jarrettd 27
Guess all your laughter put a bad taste in her mouth. Eh? Well i tried
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
What?
RedandBlue 18
and failed at an attempt to be funny.
hopemeza 7
that was funny dude! lol!
redraven88 16
Make her some soup and she'll forgive you.
WattledParsley 11
If only life were that simple.
JennaNGood 21
34, I just had my wisdom teeth out a couple days ago, and I can tell you, soup would probably be appreciated. Not only is it irritating to chew food with your front teeth, but it's hard to open your mouth wide enough to eat it, because of the swelling.
viaaaaaa 22
Try not to think about how much she resembles a squirrel
TheSpektyr 7
I read squirrel as squirtle. I then realized my mistake, and am now disappointed at my own nerdiness.
extinct_dodo 18
I see what you did there
Hummmph 8
Umm... Ya, okay. Dumb comment.
viaaaaaa 22
Umm... ya, I didn't really ask for your opinion.
ShadowGenius 12
And certainly don't crack a joke about storing your nuts in her cheeks for winter..
Z3R0G5 23
Learn to self control. YDI
photographer49 22
#6 you can't control your laughter, if something is funny you are going to laugh. I think OP'S girlfriend should stop being so serious and lighten up a bit.
karwank 13
I can get why she is serious but laughter can't hurt her situation
tbro47 23
Some times you just have to suck it up and keep a straight face. Girls don't like to be laughed at for any reason. Learn that lesson then live it.
Mauskau 36
Yes we do. Stop lying to people, you're not even a girl.
tbro47 23
Sorry you're perfectly correct I'm not a girl, let me rephrase that. To be politically correct from my own experiences, some girls can be fairly sensitive to remarks or laughter at their expense when during a time when their appearance is out of the ordinary.
JayVicious 20
that can be said for anybody regardless of gender. the situation and their mood can also change their reaction as well.
TomeDr 25
For heavens sake! Grow up!
photographer49 22
#8 pretty sure laughter is used by all ages.
TomeDr 25
Laughter AT someone's misfortune? Not appropriate...EVER.
WCARlover 35
I'm laughing at all the downvotes you've gotten
SystemofaBlink41 27
I thought the point of humor WAS to laugh at other's people's misfortunes... Can you tell us a *good* joke where something isn't unfortunate?
False_Stupidity 42
Laughing at someone else's misfortune is the entire basis of FML.
TomeDr 25
Chuckling at something online is one thing, laughing at your hurt girlfriend is something different. He totally deserves to be in the doghouse.
jazzy_123 20
my bf laughed at me when I got my wisdom teeth removed. My mouth was so numb, I kept trying to kiss him but my lips kept parting to the sides. I didn't care that he laughed. It just made me feel better.And my cheeks were huge too! Hell, I was laughing at my own misfortune. Lighten up people, geez.
Dick_diamond 22
Sounds like you need to grow up. Do what grown people have been doing for years and show some self control!!
SystemofaBlink41 27
Self-control and laughter don't mix very well... You look like a choked salmon when you're trying to hold it in.
WCARlover 35
When I had my wisdom teeth out I sent pictures for people to laugh at. She sounds like she needs to lighten up
MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21
Tell her that she looks like a chipmunk that you would definitely give some nuts to. (;
countryb_cth 38
Or if you want to be sweet tell her she is the cutest chipmunk you've ever seen. Hopefully she will see the humor and also think you're cute. But do this after she has taken pain killers.
BurleyGames 1
Dont listen to these people, stay young, stay fun