Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. The local anesthesia worked on three of the four teeth. I found out about the last tooth when the dentist was mid-yank. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed. The surgeon took a better X-ray to see what he was dealing with before he got started. When he came back into the room, he started to laugh and told me it was my lucky day because in the X-rays he found 2 big extra wisdom teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
melons 44
Oblige him, bite down really hard, then claim you couldn't feel anything.
juliette320 0
if your surgery was half as bad as mine his penis won't be going in your mouth anytime soon, unless he has a pencil sized penis.
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Comments (221)
Palmless 0
Yes!
evperry 2
agree
techweed 12
well it's the action that counts....wait that not right
fmlikecrazy 0
please tell me you didn't agree..?
leeshxx 3
she did it ripped out her stitches he got a bloody **** stuck it in her bum and they both died of aids
damnalltheasshol 0
Wow I thought I was brutal.
luckyluke2000 2
lol 97 that's great
Pokeemon 3
Hmmm kinky
ShadyFTW1 0
97 we don't care about your life story.
jwallukwizard2 0
o snap #161
juliette320 0
if your surgery was half as bad as mine his penis won't be going in your mouth anytime soon, unless he has a pencil sized penis.
t3hpwnz4rz 4
thank you for that wonderful piece of info about your surgery we could not have lived without it.
Babushka_Homyak 10
Too true. I had all 4 taken out at the same time, and I couldn't open my mouth more than 1/2 an inch. Sucks for you, OP. Enjoy your painmeds!
WallyTheWombat 0
Hmm I had all of mine removed and I didn't feel a thing. My mouth didn't swell up or anything. I'd have to say the worst part was waiting in the appointment room.
juliette320 0
lol well honestly is the best policy right?
DavLynn 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you should have seen that coming
klonopin_ftw 0
she felt it cumming actually.
giantsfan2010 23
No, she couldn't feel it.
gutzz 0
DOUBLE KILL!
EvilPotato 15
I see what you three did there
saturnfive 5
YDI for having a boyfriend like that. Why in the hell would you date a guy like that when there are numerous romantic ones about? You totally deserve it for having such horrible taste. Ugh
obviousboy 8
well, women are attracted to assholes, and then they're all surprised when they find out they're dating an asshole.
Mitcha857 0
^too ******* true seriously OP what the he'll did you expect?! YDI for dating such a selfish asshole why the hell you're still with a guy like that is beyond logic
kayecaligirl 2
#49 actually us girls prefers sweet guys
aussie_gemini 5
'numerous romantic' men out there? where? I've got a awesome man, we are best mates, bounce off each other, care for each other and laugh together.... but romantic? lol c'mon, I'm yet to meet or hear of one romantic man that isn't in the movies!
TXjuggalo972 6
lol I gotta say on this subject I'm about to be acting like an ass because I'm starting to think that's what women like because I am actually nice but all my freinds(girls) are dating assholes and I'm like WTF?
KasCiaYr 0
Relax, you just gay. You'll learn to live with it.
nerdchic 5
I'll explain to you what I've explained to all of my guy friends... do you know why women date assholes? it's because they are forward and many women like that.. If you nice guys learned to not be shy and act like you're a pussy around females then they would probably date you more. duh - also assholes know how to play the field - they turn to jerks after they have the girl convinced he's better than anyone else
dudeitsdanny 10
^ I only half agree. Girls don't like assholes, they just don't like *******. Nice guy=/= Good guy. Anyone who doesnt know the difference is probably not a good guy. Drooling over her, worshipping her, constantly texting her when she's not replying, etc... That's clingy and annoying. The key to a girl's heart isn't by being overly sweet or being an ass, it's making her laugh. You don't compliment her day and night.. You give her reason to smile. Being an ass might get you a hookup, but if you want a relationship, you gotta make her laugh. She won't find sweetness and compliments attractive.. She'll like them and string you along to keep hearing them.. But if you can throw a personality, a sense of humor into the mix, then you stand out from the other guys who tell her she's pretty. And, more importantly, you won't bore her to death. I probably sound like a guy who constantly picks up girls.. But I'm not. I just happened to notice that I attract more girls when I just kid around than when I used to try, whether I want to attract them or not. Any guy does.
Mitcha857 0
see but the thing that bugs me is when girls complain how their guys are assholes when they clearly knew they were going to be in the first place
ShadyFTW1 0
There are numerous nice guys around, but you know what girls call them? "Just friends." Most chicks don't know what the hell they want.
poppyseed420 9
do you realize how many girls like they're friends and think they're not good enough cause their "just friends" want the perfect girl, guess what, she doesn't ******* exist
MissBrainDamage 0
Take it from a girl who has dated many an asshole - and is now in an incredible relationship with a "nice guy" whose very romantic. So yes they exist.
katt_is_here 24
Sweetie, GIRLS like assholes. WOMEN prefer good, respectful men. Unfortunately, some people never grow up. OP, I hope you left this jerk.
justanotherbird 19
I would add something else to this as well; often when a girl starts dating a guy he isn't an asshole at first. I have dated several guys in fact who were very nice for the first few months and then turned into complete assholes. The funny thing is, two of these guys actually thought they were nice guys! lmao
immints 0
it'll only last for so long
predialien 1
agree with you
melons 44
Oblige him, bite down really hard, then claim you couldn't feel anything.
KMilliron 2
Is that blood? I just thought you came.
KMilliron 2
Is that blood? I just thought you came.
ajoyhill 2
He'll yeah!
gutzz 0
He will? I'm pretty sure he'll Ow!!
lissa922 6
#60 iPods and iPhones autocorrect hell to he'll
peppy67 0
I LOL'ed.
simply_improper 1
mmm nice
perdix 31
Plus, you have fewer teeth to scrape him with. C'mon, you need to blow him . . . it's for science!
JohnnyBeFML 0
I'm with you on this one...LOL!!
gutzz 0
Don't blow it op!!
EvilPotato 15
Perdix I love you man.
fluffy_nuggets 0
Perves at their best here xD
Palmless 0
Number six and seven's response provide very good options/arguments.
bthomas0319 2
Tell him that you don't think his dick is long enough to trigger your gag reflex.
NicLovin 0
lol
juliette320 0
if your surgery was half as bad as mine his penis won't be going in your mouth anytime soon, unless he has a pencil sized penis.