Today, I was showing off the Mount Kilimanjaro tattoo that I got after climbing it. It's a silhouette of the mountain and the word "KILI" in bold. My girlfriend told her friends it was actually the Lonely Mountain from The Hobbit, and that Kili was my favorite dwarf. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my giant Game of Thrones tattoo finished. Despite the fact that I had spelt it out for him, the artist wrote "You no nothing John Snow." It's the focal part of the tattoo. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Today, after months of planning, I finally got my first tattoo: my cat's paw print. I love it so I showed my friends pictures. One said it looks like poop and the other said it looks like I have a disease. FML
Today, I showed my new tattoo to my friends. It's supposed to be a deep, philosophical quote in Latin, symbolizing strength and resilience. My friend, who happens to be fluent in Latin, started laughing hysterically. Turns out, it actually says, "You are dumb." FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, I went on a date. I'm a big Disney fan, so naturally the topic came up. He said, "The only Disney movie I didn't really like was Pocahontas." I have a Pocahontas tattoo. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Glowworm56 27
I love your girlfriend's sense of humor!
ImminentDisaster 12
If its his life accomplishment it better mean something to him other than what other people think of it
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
Glowworm56 27
I love your girlfriend's sense of humor!
WeirdUS 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Kinda funny, but seriously I'd be pissed off it I completed something like that and decided to you that at your expense for a joke. Imagine trying to convince the friends after it wasn't a joke. Especially since it's a life accomplishment to turn it into a joke for 5 min a laughs seems rather tasteless.
ImminentDisaster 12
If its his life accomplishment it better mean something to him other than what other people think of it
WeirdUS 30
I agree, it just sucks to have it demeaned for a quick laugh. Especially if your significant other knows it's important to you. It'd be different if it was an in joke with friends later on.
RichardPencil 32
What a crybaby! You shouldn’t get a tattoo if you’re not “man” enough to “jaro” it.
waverlyearp 11
That sounds like a way better tattoo, tbh.
sparklevibes 14
I don't blame you though. Kili, the dwarf, would be my first choice too. [But way to go on climbing that beast of a mountain!!]
Narfstud 20
Hey, that's my name. Haha
StarkWolf_fml 23
Far over, the Misty Mountain cold To dungeons deep, and caverns old
JoviRose 11
We must away ere break of day. To seek the pale enchanted gold.
jediemma 9
Kili is the best dwarf.
firegirl1993 21
Hey, that's still super cool.
GhostFox 34
Being honest, her version will probably make your tattoo more popular.