Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML
Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am when someone called my number by mistake and I talked with them for 5 minutes. I don’t know who she was, but I'm so lonely I was happy to have someone engage in a conversation, even if it was about her calling the wrong number. FML
Today, I realized how alone I truly was when I caught myself talking to a podcast. FML
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
Today, I was walking around with a friend, who I assumed was beside me, but it turned out she'd left my side minutes ago and hadn’t heard my rambling that some random person had. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Today, I'm so lonely that I actually convinced myself it was by choice. FML
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Top comments
AugustBurnsToast 14
So does this mean you made a friend?
kzxvazure 0
you should get out more
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Comments (120)
user324234324 1
H
BobbieH 19
Looks as if you paid attention and put forth some effort you might not be as lonely. YDI!
perdix 31
If you were carrying with a big bag full of streamers, confetti, balloons and red Solo cups, he'd be so fooled that you weren't a loser.
nofearjenshere 12
Red solo cup, you're more than just a cup... You're my, friend.
MidnaLink 35
Worst. Song. Ever.
rubberduckie94 13
101 obviously you have never partied with a red solo cup the right way.
Crazberry 5
I'm not too far from doing that myself :S I work by myself 98% of the time (except when dealing with customers) and my schedule is so weird that I can't even join a class (nevermind find the time to find one) or anything because I'm basically who my job calls for backup in addition to being there six days a week. So to all the people saying that OP should get out more, some of us would love to but sometimes it's just not possible.
texas_redneck88 10
It's one thing to talk to yourself, but if you start answerin' yourself then somethin' is wrong
annagilbert 6
and why don't you have a car?
un1corns 15
What does that have to do with anything?
OffToTheGayBar 9
OP: So, Other Me, once again, it's just you and me. Er, me and me. OM: Or is it Other Me and me? OP: Speaking of "me", I really liked You, Me, and Dupree. Damn, Owen Wilson had a nice body. Luke Wilson was hot, then he got fat too. OM: Is there a correlation between celebrity and obesity? Britney Spears got fat as well. OP: And furthermore, who does Britney Spears think she is: Jenna Jameson, flashing her cooter around? OM: Well, it was a nice look at her Vaj Mahal. OP: Does that mean we're bi? OM: *Chuckling* I don't know. OP: *Snorts* Neighbor: *Laughing* Holy shit snacks, some people shouldn't talk! *Walks away, still chuckling.* OP: Ignore him Other Me. OM: Yeah, only assholes interrupt conversations. You are a ******* loser, though.
RedPillSucks 33
Could have been worse. You could have been in Florida and the neighbor could have been a neighborhood watch person with a gun.
KiddNYC1O 22
Ouch.
geod69 8
And the guy behind you told himself a joke
poseidon5213 2
this is why you should look beihind you when you walk
_MidnightLuna_ 17
And if not, at least while you're walking and talking...