Today, I felt motivated to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of vegetables. When I got home, I ordered some Burger King, all because I didn’t want to "waste the vegetables by cooking them wrong." Now the veggies are inevitably going bad in the fridge while I wait for my delivery. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML
Today, after I'd told everyone I would finally be starting meal prepping to save money, on the very first day, I forgot every container in my fridge, so I still had to buy my lunch during my lunch break. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for ordering too much fast food. The only reason I’m doing it is because there isn’t any food in the house. Not only that but I’m also trying to gain weight. FML
Today, I tried to cook an extra healthy, vegetable filled meal for my boyfriend and I. Not only did we notice the vegetables were off a little too late, but he also found my hair in his bowl. We had to settle for turkey dinosaurs and spaghetti loops instead. FML
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML
Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Fresh vegetables do not go bad in the fridge that quickly.
JasonThorn 23
I noticed that you put "" around that part of the sentence, as if even you don't believe your own nonsense.
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Comments (3)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Fresh vegetables do not go bad in the fridge that quickly.
JasonThorn 23
I noticed that you put "" around that part of the sentence, as if even you don't believe your own nonsense.
FluffythePink 23
C'mon. I love Burger king. You just can't beat a whopper. But buying a small steamer, pouring water in it, throwing the veg in, turning a dial to the correct number and walking away until it goes bing is neither complicated nor hard. Throwing peas in a microwave pot with some boiling water for 3mins, isn't rocket science. You had burgers because you stared at the healthy food and chose to order junk food. Learn to say No to yourself. Junk food once a week and eat healthy for the rest of it. Treat yourself like a toddler until the habit is changed. Toddlers don't get sweets instead of supper, no matter what sort of tantrum they throw. Seriously, buy a steamer and follow the instructions, it's almost impossible to **** things up. But unless you learn to say no to yourself and listen to it, you aren't going to get far.