Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, my roommate eavesdropped on me singing. When I realized he was there, he said I was "fucking incredible" and asked me to do another song. There's just one issue: I only sing well when I'm alone. The result was predictably bad. If it was possible to literally die of embarrassment, I wouldn't be writing this. FML
Today, I had to hear my neighbor whine again through the walls because he can't talk in a quiet voice. You can hear him from across the street, and that's before he gets drunk. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML
Today, I was singing my heart out in the shower, convinced I was alone. Turns out my roommate had friends over, and they could hear everything through the bathroom vent. Now, they keep requesting encore performances of my renditions of songs by The Smiths. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
Today, I realized how alone I truly was when I caught myself talking to a podcast. FML
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Top comments
Jeffo193 13
I really hope that mixtape winds up on YouTube so we can all hear it...also getting drunk by yourself a lot often leads to alcoholism OP, so watch out
MURIKKA 11
"Ahhhh and I fuckinggg.... I.... I.... I ******* love ma neighbors. You know what? Imma give them $1,000 dollars tomorrow!" No wonder the neighbors are recording this stuff.
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Comments (45)
Jeffo193 13
I really hope that mixtape winds up on YouTube so we can all hear it...also getting drunk by yourself a lot often leads to alcoholism OP, so watch out
RaggleFrock 13
I wish we could hear it. 'Drunk ramblings of our neighbour' blog coming soon.
KrazieKleo 13
Drinking alone doesn't necessarily lead to alcoholism but you do tend to drink more than you would if you're with someone else. I know this because I do drink alone not because I don't have friends (okay no lie, I don't lol) but some times I just need to be even more alone and by talking to myself I'm able to say things to my imaginary friend that I'd otherwise bottle inside. It is such a sad excuse that you're life sucks to be drinking alone. I know the pain and suffering and wish people would stop harming themselves. :(. I feel your pain OP.
rattusrattus 19
We totally need to hear highlights. "*mumble mumble* ... well, thass wha' the chicken said!"
Jeffo193 13
#2 i'm thinking "Shit my drunk neighbour says" :')
horseridermc 2
They have no life
nesscafe_fml 17
OP you need to get out more. If you must drink don't do it alone.
MURIKKA 11
"Ahhhh and I fuckinggg.... I.... I.... I ******* love ma neighbors. You know what? Imma give them $1,000 dollars tomorrow!" No wonder the neighbors are recording this stuff.
Rancor 5
Ask the if you can hear the tape, then if there is anything incriminating on it ask for it. But let them have their fun and you can have yours.
BlowinChronic 18
Honestly OP, I freaking love your neighbors. I don't see how this is an FML thought because nobody made you drink, but you did. They were just having a little fun recording the voice of their hilarious drunk neighbor.
GarageDragon 22
Blackmail material.
firemonkey3636 3
It's like a highlights package of your own life, WIN!!!!!
DocBastard 40
So you're a talkative alcoholic who lives in a slum with paper-thin walls? You surely do sound like a catch. I'm absolutely stunned you're still single. Wow.
Dory123 9
Well he could also be taken, it doesn't say whether he's single or not. :)
Beeftinkle 13
Worst doctor ever.
allard 14
Invite them over to drink with you?
TweetAnne 13
Interesting, hope your neighbors are nice enough to upload it for all of us to hear. Lets just hope you didn't say anything incriminating. OP I would recommend going out to a bar next time. There are plenty like you there, who knows you might make a few new friends.