Anonymous
Colorado Springs, United States
Can't hold it in anymore
Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
heyhijello
Oakland, United States
Bathroom breakdown
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Caught short
Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
Anonymous
San Jose, United States
Looks like we made it… Oh.
Today, I went on a walk with my family because I'm trying to be more active. We were near my son's school when I got a grumbling in my stomach. I rushed to find a place to take a dump. As I approached a Porta-Potty, my ass couldn't hold it any longer and I shit myself 20 feet away from the toilet. FML
sweet_stufz
Canada
TW: Gross
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Andrew Williams
When nature calls
Today, as I was walking to go look at Christmas lights in my neighborhood, I really had to go number two. I called my dad to come and pick me up. I couldn’t hold it in much longer, so I took a crap in the sewer in the street. FML
lifesucks0925
Vallejo, United States
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
missed
United States
Sprinkler system
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Noname
United States
How? Why?
Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML
Maggie
Nice mental image
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Jick
Like a dog
Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML
Top comments
metroido 21
do you live near any buildings? whenever my parents hog both bathrooms (or when they camp out in close earshot of both of them which is often) and i have to go 1 or 2 (i’m unlucky enough to have a shy bladder AND bowel) i go to the pizza place outside my neighborhood to use the bathroom. to which my mom gets very very angry, but i mean what else am i supposed to do? pee/shit outside???
Charlie Given 28
LOL 😂 next time grab a garbage can and go squat over it in your bedroom as someone who only has one bathroom in a household of three and two of us have a digestive disorder I understand and feel your pain lmao
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Comments (2)
Charlie Given 28
LOL 😂 next time grab a garbage can and go squat over it in your bedroom as someone who only has one bathroom in a household of three and two of us have a digestive disorder I understand and feel your pain lmao
tiptoppc 21
Or use the cat box and claim they got into something that didn’t agree with them. Just don’t do what my (now ex) friend did. He killed two birds with one stone. Got relief, and diarhead all over his lower neighbor’s balcony and new chair set and gas BBQ. Idiot tried to blame neighbor above. It’s been empty for years!
metroido 21
do you live near any buildings? whenever my parents hog both bathrooms (or when they camp out in close earshot of both of them which is often) and i have to go 1 or 2 (i’m unlucky enough to have a shy bladder AND bowel) i go to the pizza place outside my neighborhood to use the bathroom. to which my mom gets very very angry, but i mean what else am i supposed to do? pee/shit outside???