Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
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Top comments
alyssa_22 0
Wouldn't you notice that there's no water in it?
iammeanttolive 0
Shit happens. (:
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Comments (84)
Roddsy 0
i would've chosen the prettier one too!
glitter_kiss 0
#24 lol... & wtf?
insinuendo 0
So...you didn't notice there was no water?
cramazing 0
best
frightful316 0
Dumbass
Frenz 0
Do most people you know have two toilets in their bathroom?
Compass 0
Was there any water or pipes connected to anythin? If I see 2 toilets in a bathroom (which I never have except in public), I'll ask which to use just in case.
Zeusthegoose 0
if you wouldve looked in the toilet first you would have noticed that there is no water in that toilet
star2000shadow 0
okay here's a stupid question. how the hell can there be a 'prettier toilet' a toilet is a toilet jeesh. secondly, you DIDN'T look inside? wtf. are you stupid, even i notice if there's water in a toilet before I sit down. I mean jeesh, what did your parents do drop you on your friggen head?
resharp 6
She was sick!! When u got the runs u run and open it and u don't have TIME to look !
by12thenby6 0
shitty situation