Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML
Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted, "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
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Top comments
Dr_Alex 10
Only one question -- how on Earth this didn't deserve a chilly pepper?! :-)
BurnInDemonFire 39
What kind of bull did you want to be? An elephant bull? A bull shark? Bullshit?
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Comments (5)
Dr_Alex 10
Only one question -- how on Earth this didn't deserve a chilly pepper?! :-)
BurnInDemonFire 39
What kind of bull did you want to be? An elephant bull? A bull shark? Bullshit?
chefBuck21 15
oP here I just wanted to be like a raging bull you know how it is don’t you?
BurnInDemonFire 39
No. I leave the animalistic rutting to the animals. And teenagers. Once you break a bed, while simultaneously knocking yourself out on the headboard, you either learn pretty quickly to rein it in, or you forget because of your concussion.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well, that's one hell of a visual.