Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, we had to turn the water off due to a massive leak in the kitchen sink that the plumber was currently fixing. I managed to wait two hours before my uncooperative digestive tract said it couldn't wait any longer and I had to take a mega dump in the bathroom. I couldn't flush the toilet or wash my hands. FML
Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alyssa_22 0
Wouldn't you notice that there's no water in it?
iammeanttolive 0
Shit happens. (:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
squarepants321 0
didnt u notice there was no water in it then and why would they have two toilets
emmey1234 0
how do you not notice that?!?!?!
FloorX 14
What about when your poop made a splat sound instead of a plop?
resharp 6
This is a fabulous FML! Op was in too much of a hurry to see there was no water in there!
tito72611 0
What a ******* dumbass hahahahahahaha it was funny tho op ur awesome (:
WishfullyBlessed 4
Ha shit happens, and seriously, did you not notice that the toilet lacked water?
gabbywalliscool 5
I have read this one before
kiaroxilles 8
OP's uncle should have mentioned that, it's commonsense. "FYI people, if you need to use the restroom, we're installing a new toilet so for now, please use the old one as the new one isn't connected to anything yet". And to all the people saying "How did you not notice"? I can honestly say when I get horrible stomach pains and have to rush to the bathroom, you really tend not to pay attention and just rush to sit down and let it out. FYL.
undercoverninja 9
the lack of water in the toilet should have been a REALLY big hint
jademitch 20
Shit happens. What would you do after that though?