Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML
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Top comments
mrphychrs 5
how can she knows she's doin it wrong if you don't tell her? gotta let her know that kinda stuff bud
teague95 16
Take extreme pain instead of just saying "hey babe use some lube and be gentle"
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Comments (176)
Feverrotes 15
YDI for using the phrase "I didn't have the heart to tell..." What man says that weak ass phrase?
divinitos 1
a sympathetic man whos rational heart wants the woman he loves to be comfortable with him at all times, that, my good sir, is the kind of man who uses that phrase. what would you say? "that dumb bitch hurt me"? just because it is dead in you, chivalry is not dead with everyone.
misschatelle 3
Well, you can't really expect her to know what feels good or not for a man instinctively. You're not born with that knowledge, you learn.
ospeth 4
Foreskin is pretty flexible and can take a lot of abuse and has very little feeling. She must have had a G.I. Joe Kung fu grip to cause that much pain. I would have said something for the fear that she might rip it off entirely.
Leftoverjello 6
It's flexible and can take abuse but has an immense amount of feeling.
PJmeloche 2
What the **** bro
brockdjt 1
Tell her and she will never touch it again!
lol2011 0
Lol I fell bad
Heinousness 0
That username helped add to the hysterical mental image I had.
pnutbutternjelly 15
You should have just asked her nicely to be more gentle. when I was new at that stuff my boyfriend helped guide me through it by showing me what he likes, and I never took offense at it. I rather he tell me then just lay there wishing I would stop. She wants to make you feel good, so show her how to do and you will both be happy.
GOD4GIVEIDONT 0
Nxt time tell her to suck it
Beatlemaniac1964 9
Just tell her! She wants to please you. The first time I gave a handjob I was super nervous and didn't know what to do (I was basically just rubbing it) and was thankful when my boyfriend told me, he even guided my hand at first.