Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
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Top comments
Tuesdaythe10th 11
McManMeat
bigdude1302 2
So tell me....does he have a Big Mac or a double cheese burger?
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Comments (107)
SeahorseGuy 7
Okay, is his life so busy that he doesn't have time to do this like... at home?
zandalee 20
He was multi-tasking!!
stormer461 13
At that point in a relationship, I'd give up.
zuzupetalsYO 11
His MacMeat
ljcarranza 16
that number 9 was looking sexy and he couldn't resist
KiddNYC1O 22
I usually tug for #1.
Countryrose0524 7
Guess he was so excited to get his food, he had to relieve some pressure lmao!
perdix 31
Did he just expose his Big Mac, or was the cashier also traumatized by his McNuggets?
mrsmaglietta 6
what a gentleman
cr3ativity 15
I think he wanted a happy ending instead of a happy meal.
fabulosogurlee 7
It's the chicken mcnuggets that really got him hot...
BatemanFML 0
For some reason when I read this FML I had a vision of Ronald McDonald speaking, in Yoda's voice, saying "Fries you will have, with that masturbation." I kind of creeped myself out.
taniamw 9
You should get yourself checked out...
SirCharles83 13
42- you're the one flashing the shocker in your profile picture. Maybe you need help. Or maybe you could use a hand with that
BunBunBabe 8
Yeah you kinda creeped us out.
taniamw 9
82- sorry mister mirror shot