Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML
Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away, living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML
Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML
Today, I realized that I’m one of those freaks: I took my cat on a walk. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 20
Bless! Nothing wrong with loving your pussy!!
expertsmilee 26
Pussy's do need their toys
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Comments (124)
zandalee 20
Bless! Nothing wrong with loving your pussy!!
fml121785 14
You're too hung up on the WRONG KIND OF PUSSY!
Xeserx 8
XD
hatesfate 6
23 - and if you really looked like that your boyfriend would be keeping you busy from making stupid comments here
blacksswan 10
Her boobs look weird....
Marcella1016 32
Lol at 28 I love how everyone assumes everyone else on the Internet has to be ugly. If someone dares have a pretty pic, it must not be them! And OP I agree with number one (in the literal sense)...you just love your kitty :)
TheDrudgeChild 4
Why do people assume that people who love their cats are automatically single and automatically losers? Grow up, there's nothing wrong with loving a cat, or any kind of pet. You all are too hung up on bad sex jokes and relationships.
mumjo 2
72- if he took his cat to a hotel instead of a girl, chances are he's a 30 year old virgin.
fml121785 14
28- yea, your exactly right. I must not look like I do or my boyfriend would be keeping me busy. What a dumb comment! I actually travel a lot and post comments on here while bored in the car. You on the other hand have 200+ comments and don't even have a picture of yourself on your profile! Get a life and quit worrying about mine!
fml121785 14
Also, I post what I want to on here, not for you to thumb it up or down. I really could care less if you like it or not. I wrote it because that's what I thought about it and no one's comments are either right or wrong. It's an OPINION!!! You don't have to agree with it OR like it! Geez, you're one of those people who are too hung up on getting random people on the Internet, whom you've never met, to "like" your comments. Who cares!?!?! Try impressing some people the real world for once.
yowasupg2145 2
Damn girl nice **** next pic no shirt on k?!
expertsmilee 26
Pussy's do need their toys
onlychildFTW 34
What guy doesn't love their pussy?
FMLKitten 15
Us cats actually do need our toys! Especially when cooped up indoors, as we tend to get bored easily. Oh, and the more it moves, the better! That is if we're talking about the same kind of pussy ;-)
Myo_fml 20
How can a kitten be seventeen years old?
TheFirstSamurai 18
It's a TimeLord cat.
JennyMarie17 3
We need to find you a girlfriend.. Or boyfriend, whichever you prefer :)
thgiL 9
Your helpin him?
missyfiona89 28
*you're
Nbackus9 4
OP, 3 is hitting on you
TheDrudgeChild 4
Or, he can enjoy having a pet without being made fun of by clueless people. Who says he's single?
FatGuyLover 0
You do not want a cat to be on your bad side...
MigraineurOfLife 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
A 30 yo old man who obviously needs to re-evaluate some things.
Pogox 5
And you're very mature yourself, based on your picture. I think you need to re-evaluate your life.
DespairFaction 11
Yeah and your picture is way more mature.
IAmJad 18
76, be quiet. Your picture is just as immature, not that it matters anyways.
pokefan813 16
94 - there's a bit of irony in your comment...
captain_mal 19
There's nothing wrong with being a thoughtful and loving pet owner! Your heart is in the right place, OP. Don't feel ashamed for being so in tune with your kitty cat =^.^=
theslimshadylp 6
Better retrieve your balls while your getting that toy.
missyfiona89 28
*you're
HiddenValley 5
19- your*
theslimshadylp 6
Hahaha 19 your such a grammar nazi fail. Nice try though
frankothetanko 0
I think they are safely tucked inside of his ******.
jgmack27 8
LMFAO!! I read this at work, caught me off guard!!
HiddenValley 5
The man loves his cat. What can I say?
perdix 31
#7, I have written proof that you can say, "The man loves his cat." Maybe you will one day regale us with another gem of prose.
HiddenValley 5
In all honesty perdix, I have no idea how to respond to that.
zuzupetalsYO 11
I would freak too. Cats on road trips are hell.
SeahorseGuy 7
Wtf how did you get your cats to ride with you? Mine just poop themselves and throw up :/
joshszz_fml 4
Mine doesn't like to travel too! I thought it was a universal cat thing.
flutter4 7
That cat on shipping wars goes everywhere on the truck with his owner. But I see what you are saying about cats traveling. My cat gets a really loud high pitched meow when she travels. It's pretty annoying.
XxskyelovexX 13
my cat meows none stop and ***** everywhere and he smells it and meows even more and slips and falls into it and it gets all over him and then he starts meowing even more and starts pissing and its so gross to the point where we have to pull the car over an clean up. and thats why we don't travel with cats anymore xD
astrogirl_fml 7
really? my cat loves it, but then again she loves bathes too
astralvagan 20
I understand you need to play with your pussy, but this is a little excessive.... Next time, by spares of the toy or leave the cat behind!