Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
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Top comments
Tuesdaythe10th 11
McManMeat
bigdude1302 2
So tell me....does he have a Big Mac or a double cheese burger?
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Comments (107)
mrkck 0
He ordered the fappy meal. FYL
Sheh_fml 25
And you bailed him out.. Why?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
She wanted his McDick.
taniamw 9
All McDonald's buns aside, oops I mean puns* why would you bail him out? If my boyfriend did that I'd be very concerned...
cr3ativity 15
Intentional, but I like that :) Aside from the hamburger puns, I'd like to ketchup on how you thought of that wonderful pun.
taniamw 9
It mustard been quick thinking!
picturescrazy 24
You HAD to bail him out? Why not just leave him? He has his man-meat to keep him company, at least.
perdix 31
He'd also have fellow inmates to keep him company who might stick their Quarter Pounders (with Cheese) between his Sesame Seed Buns and fill him with Special Sauce. Then, he might not like girls anymore.
ebonyirony 29
Always with cheese!
kalbrek009 20
Two all beef patties," special sauce", lettuce cheese...I'm hoping that's (the special sauce) NOT what he was trying for....should have left him in jail...I don't believe you "had" to bail him out, you just decided to...that is, unless he was on the phone with you talking dirty to him which is why he had his "beef" out in the 1st place..if so, I'd give you a YDI..otherwise I'd have given you a FML for "having to leave" him in jail because you found out you were dating such a jerk.
zandalee 20
50- I am as confused as a **** with pants on by your comment... Please enlighten us.
foshizzle82 7
Hahaha that was ******* hilarious.
foshizzle82 7
That's disgusting. And then he was going to eat after playing with himself? I don't think it warrants being jailed for though.
nancyfantastic 3
It does actually, It's called indecent exposure.
perfectflower 12
But don't guys ask for a sandwich after sex or masturbating maybe he order the chicken sandwich
GalaxyAway 7
I'm tuggin it ( :
coughyochick 7
That's a hint for you.
jo929 6
And you're staying in a relationship with him... FAIL.
pcentral 17
Kids, don't try this at home...
thrAsHeRr9081 16
No, DO try this at home, not in public ;-)