Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML
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Top comments
Tuesdaythe10th 11
McManMeat
bigdude1302 2
So tell me....does he have a Big Mac or a double cheese burger?
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Comments (107)
prettyinpink03 11
You didn't have to bail him out.
mpalmiter4717 8
Wow OP! Run away as fast as you can. Everyone knows that McDonald's is a place children love to go. Why did you bail him out?
Isa_fml 20
That's disgusting. You should have let him solve his own problems.
StaceyMichelle 5
Reminds me of that episode of Beavis and Butthead where Beavis kept scratching himself while cooking the meat.
CarouselHeart 11
What a McWanker...
freshx_fml 6
Why did you bail him out? I would've paid to see Bubba in jail ask him why he is locked up.
lovinglife77 3
Your boyfriend is a disgusting grub!
sandrocampa 2
That's what you get for dating a tool
hateevryone 15
I wouldn't have bailed him out. He shouldn't have been doing that in public.
EnduringPlum 7
Sounds like sexual addiction with a combination of exhibitionism, which is extremely common. Get him out of your life now unless you want to help him manage his addiction for the rest of his life.