Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Gives blow your nose a whole new meaning.
raven1911 3
I hope you have a good reason for staying with this moron
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Comments (77)
zingline89 18
Gives blow your nose a whole new meaning.
luvbughug 5
You're on a role tonight. No sarcasm!
zingline89 18
Sweet! What role do I get to play? Can I play Jesus??
rocklare18 7
At least he didn't wipe it at the urinal... I heard that's where all the dicks hang out
savage93 11
A sign for what?
onlychildFTW 34
He wants done head and god is saying it to. Or that's how I read it.
patrickalamo 48
It means he likes penis now.
buckdharma 38
Nostrildamus, don't worry, it's snot going to happen.
Harpy20 24
Well it sounds like he just found his new fetish. Booger-erotica.
jtthegr8 26
If he thinks that's hot, then he obviously doesn't have high standards at all
Harpy20 24
13-doesn't take much for some people...
fsomelife 26
"boogerotica"
zandalee 20
Fifty shades of snot
Harpy20 24
21-A vaccine is needed.
BadKitty13 28
LOL !!
LiyIa_fml 8
Wipe the booger on his face.
shyeahh_fml 19
That's just rude.
doodlecloud 27
And wiping it on their wall isn't? At least it's actually his, it not like it wasn't already in him a few mins ago anyway.
andrevittorstar 6
Get the man some Kleenex for Christ sake
kathuzada 6
Construction paper is more manly than tissue
BlowinChronic 18
34- I use sandpaper.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I use bricks
raven1911 3
I hope you have a good reason for staying with this moron
zandalee 20
He's unique at least I guess...
ClassyCommando 13
Yeah, OP sure knows how to pick 'em.
ks23 9
Maybe this is your sign to get a new BF
drunkandfml 11
Maybe it was a sign that he's gay... then it IS really time to get a new boyfriend
chimocho 8
Well that's disgusting.
RvidxrKlvn 8
A sign to become the ultimate master of the art of penis sculpting. From this day forth he will cover each and every bathroom wall, notebook, and your face with only the most detailed penises you have ever seen.
zingline89 18
He wanted to share his good news with you and it snot very nice of you to come on here and embarrass him. Who nose how many of his friends will see this? He probably feels like you shafted him and you need to apoligize. Don't be surprised if he's a little teste until you do.
RvidxrKlvn 8
But you have to agree he needs to stop phallusizing about this stupid dream of his