Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Nice husband you've got there…
Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML
Scumbag
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Thanks bossman
Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML
Pleased to meet you
Today, I was eating at a restaurant when a man came up to me and said, "You're pathetic for having lunch with someone that much older than you." My dad immediately got up and punched the man in the face. My fiancé's parents had to walk in the door right as it happened. FML
Misbehaving
Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML
Some winners…
Today, what started as a family gathering turned into an all-out brawl. I saw my son’s wife punch him, so I hit her. Her mom and sister jumped me. My husband was pulling them off when the other husband thought he was attacking them and jumped in, so my son jumped in as well. We won, at least. FML
Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML
Top comments
alexa9510 1
But what a good husband for sticking up got his wife! (:
ASD_K 11
His dad seems like a bit of an ass. Kudos to your husband for sticking up for you, though! He doesn't deserve to be in prison.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (122)
MelTheGreat 23
Sounds like a bad chain of events.
innavoiG 9
I agree with 17, not many people are brave enough to stand up to their parents like that. Kudos to your husband OP.
Qandol 26
OP your husband should be awarded for what he did for standing up for you. This is the kind of man every women would wish to have.
baddud300 6
I bet your father-in-law won't make the mistake of calling you a **** again!
AClassActx3 7
I agree . He is a great man / husband for that. Should he have PHYSICALLY assaulted his dad? Ehh.. I don't think so
zandalee 20
Agree. I went through something similar but it was my parents being arseholes to my now husband of 22years... I didn't speak to them for years. Is all good now. We just had to stand up to them; together.
_Oblivion_ 12
I'll bet your father-in-law was quite surprized haha. "She's a ****, son" BAM!
Meettitan 14
I have anger problems sometimes. So --I'm not preaching-- but I think a brutal session of barking profanities and good old fashioned forced removal would have sufficed.
ThePsyche 9
Well that escalated quickly ._.
SpottedZebra42 14
Would you say it was a series of unfortunate events? No? Okay.....
FarSide 23
So, beside a Fist Sammich, what else was for dinner?
sens3sfailing 25
Blood from the father-in-laws wound to wash it all down.
KaeSAL 11
128- I doubt it. Unless punching inflicts open wounds.
DerrickJames 33
Violence is never the answer, 17. He should have asked him to leave.
Savner 16
I disagree, 148. Sometimes assholes just need a good punch to the face.
sens3sfailing 25
Uuhhh, you obviously have never seen boxing or UFC have you? Or someone get punched in the nose and get a nose bleed? You didn't think to much before you posted did you?
alexa9510 1
But what a good husband for sticking up got his wife! (:
alexa9510 1
For*
efynsien 1
And yet she is all alone at home:(
sharpshooterben 13
Why an FML? I give that man props
KingCeltic77 18
It's a shame though that he had to stand up to his parents. It's sad how families can't get along.
mikeofthunder 13
Sure, every family has their ups and downs, but that doesn't mean they can't get along. OP's in-laws are simply a worse-case. And the wham! to the face wasn't a result of the value of family declining, but of the dad being a dick
Helloilike_lacro 8
In this case her father-in-law is down and her husband is up
Codezlol 21
66- lol says Red Forman ;P
bsmith9942 11
I wish my fiancé would stand up to his parents. He doesn't do anything when they talk bad about me. At least your husband cares more about you than their stupid opinions, OP. Sucks that he got sent to jail though. He should have just made them leave.
SeahorseGuy 7
He's a keeper
counterfit 10
I think that's why she married him.
AFloppyWetWhale 6
101 & 112 - both of you mentioned "in-law" in your comments, but Op's parents were the parents in the FML. Op's father clearly didn't approve from the start of their relationship, it wasn't just another one of those 'damn parent in-laws'.
AFloppyWetWhale 6
Oh wow never mind the first time I read it I thought the husband was the Op. My mistake.
patrickalamo 48
Reading is fundamental.
MDTeddy 13
I would be pissed too if my parents did that to my wife or gf who doesn't exist. foreveralone
jv1991 16
Seriously, and I thought I had family drama.
Arrawyn 12
That didn't go as planned...
iseyixes 18
Oh really? Wow, you know how to state the obvious.
wisecatlady123 11
Or maybe it did...
soad2014 7
No shit, Sherlock
FMLKitten 15
Neither did your comment!
MrPlopper 9
^^HOLY CRAP A KITTEH!!!!!
Arrawyn 12
I wonder why society has to be such retards? I can obviously tell by how ******* dumb you all are. And obviously lack a sense of humor and common knowledge of sarcasm
ASD_K 11
His dad seems like a bit of an ass. Kudos to your husband for sticking up for you, though! He doesn't deserve to be in prison.
Psych101 9
Not just his dad, his mom, too. Who the hell calls the cops on her own son after a provoked reaction like that?
lexa1love 16
Might not be a biological mother. She said wife instead of mother, so I'm thinking it is probably a step mom.
Psych101 9
Regardless of whether they were related by blood or not, she's still his mother.
Psych101 9
Actually, upon further consideration, I think you were more correct. Unless his dad re-married at an early age for OP's husband, then his stepmom wouldn't be much of a mother to him.
dylanmellark101 5
Hey the next time u feel like insulting dyslexics. Dont
SenselessPattern 12
#152, what in the actual ****? Where did you come from, and how did you get THAT out of this thread?
MistaKrista 8
Since this happened in your own home, I wonder if you could save him by saying you told them to leave and they wouldn't? At that point it becomes trespassing on their part and you have legal rights to remove them. Hell, if someone can get injured while robbing you, then sue you and win, anything is possible.
ASD_K 11
It's my joke profile picture.
Lct1196 31
Actually, ops husband can't get in trouble here. There is a clause in US law about fighting words. If someone is provoked enough, they are legally allowed to fight them without charges.
fukmefreddy 4
Is your promiscuity the reason for the bad blood?
aimee0027 17
Can't you bail him out?
birdcagereligion 10
She might not have the money.
AClassActx3 7
Not even just the money, if she has the money, many places take a long time to process people before they're released
AClassActx3 7
Not even just the money, if she has the money, many places take a long time to process people before they're released
dbt88 15
Here, you sit until you can see a judge for a felony, but not necessarily a misdemeanor. Depends what he was charged with and UK's rules on it as to whether that could even be a possibility.
skyyylines 22
Bail doesn't work that way in the UK.
soulebelius 17
Should've punched his wife. No one likes a snitch.
Dojan 16
Pretty sure he heard his father mutter that, hence why he punched him. It's ok though, you don't have to socialise with your extended family.
soulebelius 17
Yeah, but the wife is the one who called the cops on OP'S husband. You get invited over for dinner, act an ass, then call the cops on your son(in-law) for retaliating like a man? That deserves at least one strike.
ebonyirony 29
And who wants to punch their own mother?
pxndiieinsanity 6
Well,it wasn't her husband's mother..more like a step mom. I'm sure we all would love to whack 'em in the face a few times. >:D
ohrlly7457 7
Reminds me of my name is earl
xDrakeNinja 12
Well, he punched his father
ebonyirony 29
Why did he call you a ****?
ASD_K 11
Bad remarks and pregnant are two phrases in this FML. Connect the dots.
ebonyirony 29
They're married. How the **** does that make her a ****?
Shrike 24
Cause the parents are probably FML commenters, and make shit up about OP just so they can have an excuse to insult her.
Louis0785 4
8- Happy birthday!
Dracoboxer357 36
8- Happy 18th, Ebony. And in no way do I see how married and pregnant makes her a **** either. ;P Op's father-in-law's just an ass.
ebonyirony 29
27- thank you very much! :)
shrinkydinks 0
Well...its still the 19th over here! So happy almost birthday?
misterjez 15
Mmm finally legal
ishuvaibhav 4
Happy birthday!!
Aoifexzx 3
#13 Yeah, but she's married.
akg98 13
Thats an awesome husband though, to stand up for u instead of just leaving hom to critisize you :D
ASD_K 11
Do you mind if I throw a dictionary at your face?
akg98 13
-.- yes, i would actually........id go mamma umbrige on your ass though
winnerme123 8
That's a dedicated husband.