Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was dragged by my dad to the gun range for his pipe dream of a competitive shooting team. Apparently, plinking away on .22s while he and his ex-military buddies compare guns and trade sci-fi war stories until 7 PM is more important than the two research papers I'd set aside to write. FML
Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it would be a romantic moment, but it turned out that "Saw 5" was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML
Today, I sat through 9 gruelling hours of Star Wars with my boyfriend. I hate those movies with a passion and frankly would rather get a pap smear from Wolverine than watch them. Afterwards, he dumped me for yawning, saying that I didn’t take a “serious” interest in his favorite things. FML
Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're just jealous that it wasn't you getting stripped, oiled and having things slid into your "barrel."
super3286 14
that's guntastic
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Comments (162)
lilmissy1290 0
he forced you? unless he tied you down and made you watch you could have left him to play with his gun by himself.. if it bothered you so much that you wrote an fml about it then you should have left
ilikepie789 0
22 how does that make him a douche?
AwesomeAsFcuk 0
I bet there were a lot of gunshots... hint-hint.... cumshots....
aliaskis 3
Fail.
Ozmat 0
fail
BonJovi821 3
No, you are most definitely not "Awesome As ****".
Privations_fml 0
Oh my god, you are so ungrateful. That sounds like a PERFECT day to me!
3xP 0
Aren't guns banned in the UK?
Mokiikom_fml 8
Not if you have a special permit, or are a member of certain Police units etc. It's just banned for most of the public.
hegchog12 18
Not really banned more than just strictly controlled. You just need a reason (sporting etc) and about £80 for a license.
truehitman2010 0
so you had to watch gorn?
xk75 4
"forced" her to sit there and watch him stroke it? douchey.
miniselman 0
That's not an FML that sounds like fun. You should try to get into or tell him when he's cleaning his guns you don't want to be around. but you should give it a try.
AhtnamasYerg 0
Did he force you at gunpoint? Hee hee. If not, walk the **** out of the room, and partake in your own leisure activities. You're his girlfriend, nothis subordinate.
Lolzords 11
Enemy at the gates is such a boner-riffic film, as long as you ignore the tumor of a romance plot >_>