Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was dragged by my dad to the gun range for his pipe dream of a competitive shooting team. Apparently, plinking away on .22s while he and his ex-military buddies compare guns and trade sci-fi war stories until 7 PM is more important than the two research papers I'd set aside to write. FML
Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it would be a romantic moment, but it turned out that "Saw 5" was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML
Today, I sat through 9 gruelling hours of Star Wars with my boyfriend. I hate those movies with a passion and frankly would rather get a pap smear from Wolverine than watch them. Afterwards, he dumped me for yawning, saying that I didn’t take a “serious” interest in his favorite things. FML
Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're just jealous that it wasn't you getting stripped, oiled and having things slid into your "barrel."
super3286 14
that's guntastic
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Comments (162)
olms_jesse 3
at least now you know he knows how to handle his sex pistol
Shadow_Phantom 26
Sounds kind of like something my BF might do... and it sounds hot for some reason.
TheOtherNewest1 6
You deserve it for not liking Enemy At The Gates.
cathylee22 4
lol i don't know why I'm amazing, but thank you :)
gijoe011 6
I agree, you're amazing!
Slhruman 4
That movie sucks anyways. The Soviet Army was a professional force by the Fall of 1942. The suicide charges were gone, the blocking units were gone, and the Commisars were being phazed out. This movie is nothing but ignorant BS, most likely obtained from German sources, which always degrade Soviet troops.
Shoop_da_woop 0
how is this bad?
planckit 6
at least it's a good movie, could of been worst, he could of got you to play with him while he played with his gun.
Gunz24 0
win! love taking girls to the range. they love the .50bmg. one chick compared it to creaming her panties. I just might marry that girl... lol
RyanAnchors 0
He clearly bought a new Mosin-Nagant. Great rifle and you can get one for about $70-$100. Enemy At The Gates is not "gun-****". It is about the hardships of members of the Soviet military during WWII. Maybe the OP should go read a book sometime. The Soviets lost more people than anyone else in the war (including the Jews persecuted by Hitler, Japanese, Nazis, and Americans).
AlgorithMan 0
why do you date a sociopath in the first place?