Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was dragged by my dad to the gun range for his pipe dream of a competitive shooting team. Apparently, plinking away on .22s while he and his ex-military buddies compare guns and trade sci-fi war stories until 7 PM is more important than the two research papers I'd set aside to write. FML
Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it would be a romantic moment, but it turned out that "Saw 5" was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML
Today, I sat through 9 gruelling hours of Star Wars with my boyfriend. I hate those movies with a passion and frankly would rather get a pap smear from Wolverine than watch them. Afterwards, he dumped me for yawning, saying that I didn’t take a “serious” interest in his favorite things. FML
Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're just jealous that it wasn't you getting stripped, oiled and having things slid into your "barrel."
super3286 14
that's guntastic
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Comments (162)
perdix 31
You're just jealous that it wasn't you getting stripped, oiled and having things slid into your "barrel."
allichap2012 0
win! :)
quin01 0
epic comment
thebeast45132 5
That comment made my day
Witchcraft_fml 5
No need for the joke, it was already implied in the FML.
johnnythreetears 2
the best comment I've ever seen on fml
golfer_boi 10
You obviously haven't been reading comments for very long. Perdix makes comments that are just as good or better as this one often.
xk75 4
yup now at least she has more than enough info to justify dumping the douche.
Im_Jesus_BITCH 3
I don't know what you're so bothered about, Enemy At The Gates is a great movie in my opinion!
silver86_fml 2
agree, and apparently there's a part 2 I haven't seen yet
Im_Jesus_BITCH 3
Really? I'm gonna have to find it.
southerngalslove 15
I'm a girl and I like guns. I wouldn't want to watch a show about them, but I like them.
mexipunker 0
Rule 34
speckdude101 2
OMG HAHAHA u just remind me of my friend
Shanokie 2
guns are sexy...I nearly dated a guy in the army and he used to talk about cleaning his gun to make me hot which wasn't fair because he lives a state and a half away lol
cowboyroy45 10
*immediately falls in love*
xGraycloud 4
I don't hate guns... but that's gotta suck.
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
You'll be glad he knows and has a gun if you were to have a home invasion so just be supportive. Movies are just 1 1/2 to 2 hrs out of your life.
Mokiikom_fml 8
#31 This! #57: Well, criminal prosecution and civil action are still better than living with the knowledge that your girlfriend was brutally raped and murdered in front of you and you had the chance to save her life but did nothing. So technically, even if they don't have self-defense-friendly laws in the UK, if it comes down to livign or dying I'd think it would be better for them to have the gun at home so they can maybe have a chance to come out alive if a crazed murdering rapist or someone like that breaks in.
Lehk 9
have you ever heard the phrase "better to be judged by twelve than carried by six" ?
diesel42o 0
ya kno guns r prettttttty kool
yanayo 0
YDI for dating someone from the tea party.
Mokiikom_fml 8
YDI to you, #34. For being a child who has no knowledge of the world and thinks everything is exactly the way your small mind imagines it. Hell, the OP is in the UK, the Tea Party or whatever doesn't even exists there.
oge 0
your a ******* moron