Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML
Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML
Today, a water snake slithered into our pool. He can have it. FML
Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
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Top comments
JustKittyKat 24
Did he survive? And how do you know he was there for hours? I am very curious about this one.
Moep20 24
Why would anyone put a scorpion into a cup of bleach?!?!?
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Comments (112)
hunteer9 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha, lol
duke56924903 11
Inspired comment. You, sir, have a way with words.
annie_nk 23
Really wanted to be first, eh?
YacL 15
I have been inspired by this beautiful, genius comment to write a 30 chapter novel. I shall dedicate it to you, my good man.
TurquoiseJesus 15
The redundancy is almost... poetic. Well done, 1.
wellfuuucckme 7
Haha, lol stfu
siickman 7
I read 11's comment in class and laughed out loud and got stared at for a couple of mins.. Just letting you know 11. It made people think i'm weirder than i actually am :x haha
davestrider 0
#9 FOOL! Who said they were words?
hunteer9 5
I love the response's that I got from my completely pointless and redundant comment. I just really wanted to see how people would make fun of me.
Dr_Death_Defy 0
i completely agree. it was rather redundent wasnt it?
goldfishgod 20
Scorpion king is pissed!
onlychildFTW 34
I'm sure he didn't like being under water or man handled.
MormonPornstar 7
I would be pretty pissed too, if you plucked me out of the water moments before setting a world record. Inconsiderate bastard
JustKittyKat 24
Did he survive? And how do you know he was there for hours? I am very curious about this one.
herpderpherpderp 13
possibly fake..?
JustKittyKat 24
And now I am wondering if scorpions can swim. EDIT: I googled this shit. Sadly every site I read didn't really add up with the previous. What I can deduce from the (not very consistent) information, is that they can hold their breath for quite long. How long is debated. And apparently, they cannot swim. If anyone has actual information better than what I found within a short search, please do share.
SApprentice 34
23- I used to have an emperor scorpion. He got up to about seven inches long before he died. I don't know if he could swim, but he would lay down and half-way submerge himself in his little water pool. He'd slosh around and dirty up the water, then get back out and go to his den.
JustKittyKat 24
Thank you, 30. I had a pet scorpion before but I was so young that I only remember that I found him in the tub, and that he glowed in the blacklight.
djigsup 3
Scorpions actually have a defense mechanism where they can shut down almost all of there motor functions, almost in a trance or coma like state. They can remain in this state for quite a long while, and revive themselves when they are free from harm. I knew someone who put one in a cup of bleach for 4 months, when they dumped it out, the scorpion tried to crawl away!
Moep20 24
Why would anyone put a scorpion into a cup of bleach?!?!?
mikeofthunder 13
42 - I completely agree! Your friends need to re-think the ethical factors of their next experiment. But, at the same time, it's a pretty awesome discovery; I had no idea scorpions were so hardcore!
PrincessPenelope_fml 9
THIS is scary! Thanks a lot for this information!
ScaughtieHolden 11
NatGeo should do a "Scorpion vs Cockroach" special to see which one can survive more extreme scenarios.
Kallian_fml 21
23- I took some time to do a more extensive google search. From what I have read, they can't swim but they can hold their breath for about 6 hours, depending on the species. Yeah, I had nothing better to do but read about scorpions...
jezane 9
This is the most interesting thing I've ever learnt on FML, Thank you.
sierramott1 6
He probably put it there to kill it in the first place. And obviously he survived because that's how he figured out they can hold their breath for hours making them angry.
sierramott1 6
38-Awww hell nahhh that shit ain't right!
Mr_Krabs 5
38- You just reek of bullshit...
djigsup 3
"Scorpions are strange animals. They can live for months on a single meal, slowing down their metabolisms until they're practically in suspended animation, yet can spring back to life almost instantly if they detect prey. They can be frozen overnight and thawed out the next day, none the worse for frost bite." Citation: http://adventure.howstuffworks.com/outdoor-activities/hiking/5-critters-camping-in-desert1.htm
8313girl 28
I wish I had the ability to slow down my metabolism whenever I wanted. Who knew I'd ever be jealous of a scorpion?
MaleficZero 0
FETCH ME YOUR MASTER, SCORPION. BRING ME QUAN CHI. *Tries sending him to the Netherrealm by throwing him deep into pool*
ScottieJo 8
"GET OVER HERE!"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
What if Scorpion had kids? "Son, come here." "No! You're just gonna yell at me again!" "Damn it, Douglass, GET OVER HERE!!!" Or: "Eat your vegetables, Kathy." "I don't want to!" "FINISH THEM!"
JoeRogansBEARD 15
^( starts choking on food) FATALITY
seriouslythat 6
73 I would feel bad for the children getting stabbed every time they wouldn't listen
yowasupg2145 2
Your a dumbass that's not funny
ninjaqueen101 18
Well I didn't know that. thank you for finding out for me lol. Learn something new every day.
amandajlucas2015 2
Scorpions are hard to kill.. We once nailed one to a board for 6 weeks and it still lived
Ryan_Jaxson 8
Scorpions are in the same group as spiders, and yes I suppose that they could hold their breath as spiders have their own "oxygen sac" ;)
mercymedical 6
Why do you know that?
herpderpherpderp 13
I'm more curious about the winky-face..
JustKittyKat 24
Who wouldn't wink when saying sac? ;)
mikeofthunder 13
I didn't even know spiders could breath underwater! This is the most interesting FML ever! :D
Ryan_Jaxson 8
I reared spiders when I was a kid (freaky habit I know) but yeah that's how I know.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Spider: ****! Ryan, you busted my taillight! You'd better have some ******* insurance! Ryan: Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there! Spider: Your card says Geico, dumbass!
nuffsaidboutthat 4
74 - I imagined it more of a tailpipe issue
twinkiefeets 17
Ewe
Mynameislinh 24
Well.. I might have done the same thing..
youllnvrkno 8
i had no clue they could do that. sorry you found out that way.
annie_nk 23
Now is the time to fully drown it.
SApprentice 34
13- For why? It was just living, doing its scorpion thing. There's no need to kill it.
annie_nk 23
Personally, I hate scorpions. It's just what I would do.
thatpoorchap 3
Cuz it attacked
SApprentice 34
36- From the scorpion's point of view, OP attacked him. OP picked him up, and in the scorpion's world that means death is coming. He was just defending himself.
mikeofthunder 13
How do you know the scorpion is a he? But I thumbed you for your understanding :D
WWEIsLove 4
Scorpions are magnificent creatures. No need to kill it. :( Maybe OP should have put it in a container and set it free elsewhere.
docscientist 10
19- that's not really a reason.
bakrxD 1
scorpion: "heres a token of my appreciation!"
Dr_Death_Defy 0
-stabs op with stinger- That'll teach you to remove me from your pool when I'm trying to set a record you inconsiderate self centered prick.