Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was dragged by my dad to the gun range for his pipe dream of a competitive shooting team. Apparently, plinking away on .22s while he and his ex-military buddies compare guns and trade sci-fi war stories until 7 PM is more important than the two research papers I'd set aside to write. FML
Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it would be a romantic moment, but it turned out that "Saw 5" was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML
Today, I sat through 9 gruelling hours of Star Wars with my boyfriend. I hate those movies with a passion and frankly would rather get a pap smear from Wolverine than watch them. Afterwards, he dumped me for yawning, saying that I didn’t take a “serious” interest in his favorite things. FML
Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
You're just jealous that it wasn't you getting stripped, oiled and having things slid into your "barrel."
super3286 14
that's guntastic
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Comments (162)
burned313 3
I fail to see what is wrong with this haha.
mightymart 5
how is it like to have a redneck boyfriend?
mightymart 5
lol Nice book 58.. get a Life you whiny bitch
tans_fml 0
op, you are an idiot 1. because knowing how to use, take apart and reassemble guns is a necessary life skill, the only reason you would not be interested is cos you can't understand mechanical things or have no desire to survive any armed confrontation. 2. enemy at the gates is not "gun ****". it is based on the battle of stalingrad, and vassilli zaitsev was very much a real hero to the s.u. if you cannot recognize how fascinating movies based on history are, perhaps you should get a boyfriend who is more on your level- a knuckle dragger with no relevant hobbies - rather than Bitching about the perfectly interesting one you have.
obtusian 7
That's what you get for living in America.
sparco_556 0
Idiot, they live in the UK. You anti-gunners sure aren't very smart, must be why you don't trust yourselves with firearms.
sophsoph17 0
ya u are a retard and America is the ******* shit
budge10 0
u know u liked it
sallen0046 4
Unless he tied you to a chair and taped your eyes open, he did not force you to watch anything. Your life must be so terrible, having a boyfriend that actually seems to enjoy caring for his personal property, and even wants you to have the opportunity to be involved in something he enjoys. Get over yourself, OP. Do you have any idea how many women would love the opportunity learn more about and be involved in things that their significant others enjoy but aren't given the chance because they're considered 'guy' things? So you watched a movie you didn't enjoy, big flippin deal. There are plenty of other things you could have quietly done in the same room if you still wanted to spend time with him. You chose to sit through the movie.
BikeAllDay818 6
hahahaha "gun ****"
sublime420 11
Until you've seen your father shot in front of you, all you gun nuts can just shut the **** up.
foREVerA7X 0
A firearm without the assistance of another human being has never killed anybody. It's like if somebody was killed with a chair. Are you going to impose we ban chairs then too?
sublime420 11
Wow, youre an idiot.
sparco_556 0
No, you can shut the **** up and stop trying to infringe on others liberties just because you have an issue. You don't like guns, thats fine, but my right to self defense is more important than your right to get your way all the time.
RyanAnchors 0
You are stupid. Stop blaming the world for your problems. A gun didn't shoot your dad. A bad person shot your dad. And maybe if your dad had a firearm for self-defense, he could have prevented it. Banning guns because someone shot your dad with one is like hating black people because one black person did something bad to you. You can't blame everything on the actions of one person. Gun laws are based in racism (they were created to deprive newly freed black slaves of a way to defend themselves) In countries like the UK where guns are restricted, stabbings and bludgeonings have gone up exponentially. I own a lot of firearms and they've never killed anyone, neither have the other 200 million legally owned firearms in America. Grow up.
sublime420 11
Few things wrong here, bud. One, I was not talking about myself, but a close friend, who has since had a gun to her head at least twice since then, and is now terrifyed of guns. And two, they were black. Also, people like you who just collect guns for fun and to shoot them are just plain creepy. Stabbing is much more fun.
Protolisk 0
Yeah, because stabbing is not any less creepy...
allyshopeful 0
That sucks.