Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it would be a romantic moment, but it turned out that "Saw 5" was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, I was having a movie night with my significant other. I suggested a classic horror movie binge, and she agreed. However, as soon as the movie started, she fell asleep and started snoring louder than a chainsaw. It's hard to take scary movies seriously with the sounds of a chainsaw going on, I tell you. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
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Top comments
doubleAbattery 0
This FML is worded horribly.
keywestlov 0
wow. horror movies and sex? i dont see what your complaining about! those are awesome things.
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Comments (66)
jap1198 0
I love Saw!
ajninamai 0
Yeah, saw 5 is great :)
toch040 0
saw 5 is better than sex
wickedsmart 0
How is this a FML?? What retard moderated you??
moonlit_manga 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
dam I wasn't first..... oh well life goes on. :)
Bloodknight 22
Don't feel bad. So Saw V was more interesting than your BF, FHL, not yours...
keywestlov 0
wow. horror movies and sex? i dont see what your complaining about! those are awesome things.
ellaterra 1
Bad sex you mean
ellaterra 1
Bad sex you mean
aahas7 0
Ha ha been there, done that! Only it was Anger Management.
Destinyx 0
I love that film :D
bcopeland 0
um... haven't you ever heard of TiVo... pause it....
Biebz4Lyf10 0
maybe OP Doesnt have TiVo, smart one...
Sebastian00 0
How is this a FML?
stupiddumbblonde 0
....? What's wrong with that movie? This is DEFINETELLY not fML worthy.
alyzandra 0
Really read this people: "the sex was that good that I watched it for a little bit." It's assumed that she was watching the movie, but why is she complaining about watching the movie if the sex was good? This continues to baffle me. Who moderated such a thing?
whimsywhit 0
I agree... I can't figure this one out.
UnearthlyEnemy 9
The sex was so fantastically TRAGIC. Meaning it sucked, no pun.
ChuckRebel 0
ya, good one alyzandrafuk. how bout you read that over again dumbass before you say "read this people"... your stupidity has got me raging right now