Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, one of my kids thought it would be funny to superglue me to my armchair while I was asleep, except they’re idiots who used way too much. I am now fused to the cushions and had to call an ambulance. FML
Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I took my son to a birthday party. He spent the entire time clinging to my hand and refused to play with his friends, eat, or participate in activities. His friend tried to pull him away from me, but he refused to go. When we left, he started crying because he felt left out. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
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Top comments
rg350dx 29
That kid is an evil genius.
fareith 15
Seems like a great excuse to leave him there and have a quiet night!
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Comments (112)
SkyDog 9
I know you had to stay. But **** your Kids life. I super glued my hands together and had to have my mom apply nail polish remover.
DataRomance 18
Dedicated.
callie06 6
My friend and I glued our hands together in kindergarten because we wanted to go over to the other's house after school...doesn't quite have the same effect when you're using glue sticks. ;)
nessiepoopoo 8
take the table with you and ground him with the table in his room.
ashjo 12
Why was there super glue near them anyways?
antny082787 5
well tell your child that it will hurt, then proceed to pull his hands off the table.
usernamees_suck 1
Did you get to bring the table with you?
kuma32792 2
This kid is going places one day.
rabid_otaku 29
I like the way he thinks.