Today, one of my kids thought it would be funny to superglue me to my armchair while I was asleep, except they’re idiots who used way too much. I am now fused to the cushions and had to call an ambulance. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML
Today, my siblings overpowered me and duct taped me to a chair. Helpless, I had to wait until my dad got home so he could help me. Instead, the first thing he did was reach for his camera to take a picture. FML
Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML
Today, I accidentally superglued my hand to my grandmother's ornate fan while trying to fix it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tiptoppc 21
Mineral oil or soaking the area with warm water and light detergent, will in about 5 minutes, dissolve it enough to unbond it. Nail polish remover/turpentine will as well. FWIW, your idiot offspring is the reason superglue isn’t very effective and even takes longer to set than when they first released the product. It sucks as it has a weaker bond and isn’t instant for critical emergency uses (like what it was designed for). Medical super glue is NOT the same. Don’t try it. Home stuff is toxic and medical superglue uses different chemicals that are safe for body intravenously for what small amount may happen to slip in. Too many people believed that myth. One of my idiot coworkers got hurt one time, used it, and ER wanted to slap the shit out of him when he came in due to toxicity shutting down his liver and kidneys.
RichardPencil 32
When they CA sleeping idiot, they super-glue it into place. Ask a chemistry nerd why this is hilarious.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
When they CA sleeping idiot, they super-glue it into place. Ask a chemistry nerd why this is hilarious.
Hangryko 32
YDI for leaving the glue in an accessible place. If it's that strong, your kids should not have access to it. They could have injured themselves with it in the process.
tiptoppc 21
Mineral oil or soaking the area with warm water and light detergent, will in about 5 minutes, dissolve it enough to unbond it. Nail polish remover/turpentine will as well. FWIW, your idiot offspring is the reason superglue isn’t very effective and even takes longer to set than when they first released the product. It sucks as it has a weaker bond and isn’t instant for critical emergency uses (like what it was designed for). Medical super glue is NOT the same. Don’t try it. Home stuff is toxic and medical superglue uses different chemicals that are safe for body intravenously for what small amount may happen to slip in. Too many people believed that myth. One of my idiot coworkers got hurt one time, used it, and ER wanted to slap the shit out of him when he came in due to toxicity shutting down his liver and kidneys.
Chazzster 32
“Asleep” or passed out? There is a difference.