Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, one of my kids thought it would be funny to superglue me to my armchair while I was asleep, except they’re idiots who used way too much. I am now fused to the cushions and had to call an ambulance. FML
Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I took my son to a birthday party. He spent the entire time clinging to my hand and refused to play with his friends, eat, or participate in activities. His friend tried to pull him away from me, but he refused to go. When we left, he started crying because he felt left out. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
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Top comments
rg350dx 29
That kid is an evil genius.
fareith 15
Seems like a great excuse to leave him there and have a quiet night!
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Comments (112)
slothsarecool 11
that sounds like a sticky situation
QXR2 14
It appears that your child is an idiot.
10showgirl 16
I guess he didn't really think that through...
sikophant82 5
Omg get in shape man
Sir_Swaggington 6
I'm trying to figure out if he's a genius, insane, or both.
Allennis44 16
Free table.
B0nb0N09 12
Awesome kid
nvo 6
Who left superglue out on a 6-yo play date???
Iheartmonkies 8
Kids do the darndest thing!!!!
worldclassrager 41
I guess that's one way to stay for awhile...but really giving another hour or two might have been okay to give...