Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, one of my kids thought it would be funny to superglue me to my armchair while I was asleep, except they’re idiots who used way too much. I am now fused to the cushions and had to call an ambulance. FML
Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I took my son to a birthday party. He spent the entire time clinging to my hand and refused to play with his friends, eat, or participate in activities. His friend tried to pull him away from me, but he refused to go. When we left, he started crying because he felt left out. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
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Top comments
rg350dx 29
That kid is an evil genius.
fareith 15
Seems like a great excuse to leave him there and have a quiet night!
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Comments (112)
drewski50 6
Who's the idiot that left super glue lying around for a 6 year old?!
TwiztedYuri 9
dedication
simsgirlgem 25
I'd rip the kids hands off the table yeah he may cry from the pain but maybe he think next time
ItsAnanya 25
When I was a kid, I loved to visit my cousin sister and just like your kid I obviously didnt want to leave. During one of those visits my sister and I found a tube of super glue and decided to glue both our hands together so that my mum doesn't have to take me home. My mum never told me we could use acetone to get it off and we ended up ripping our skin trying to get it off. Never Again.
goose12321 11
Go and come back with a saw (as a joke obviously)
fieldhockeygal97 19
Smart kid
Omniprism 15
Why was he able to get super glue? Maybe he shouldn't go over there anymore if there house isn't child proof.
TheDrifter 24
I day don't child proof anything after the child can walk and talk in sentences. Darwinian child rearing, they will make mistakes, learn from them and grow up with better stories than "I tripped over the coffee table once, but it's ok, it was padded."
gordogirls 4
Yeah 78, cuz it would be a pretty cool story to say 'haha I went blind cuz i rubbed my eye with super glue on my hand' or 'im paralyzed because I fell down a flight of stairs cuz I could walk and talk!' I hope you never reproduce!
Ozzien 26
It seems he's a little attached...
Kc1001 14
That's when you ask how the hell he got the superglue other mom?
ginawater19 13
I wonder how he managed to glue his other hand while the other was already glued down... Interesting...
brittyed 11
Um, he could have put the glue on the table first, smearing it wide enough that it would fit both of his hands, then placed both of his hands on the area.