Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML
Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML
Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML
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Top comments
Jackey 29
If I remember correctly, I didn’t need **** when I was 12. An errant thought and/or a stiff breeze was all it took...
Alup132 22
It’s obviously the den, and not his room.
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Comments (12)
Charlie Given 28
Is his nickname sticky fingers 😂
Jackey 29
If I remember correctly, I didn’t need **** when I was 12. An errant thought and/or a stiff breeze was all it took...
mr_dinzaster 16
I’m right there with you
bloopaloop 27
Those were the days
RichardPencil 32
I’d have liked more variety than my Farrah Fawcett poster.
Sinshine 28
"The den"? Did you walk into his room without knocking? Respect his privacy, please.
Alup132 22
It’s obviously the den, and not his room.
merican_redneck4 11
If there is a 12 year old boy in the house always announce that you are coming in to any space that he may be in
Giovanni Adamo 16
wasnt his house. it was hers. dont jack off when at another house. or anyway when strangers are around.
RichardPencil 32
Stop the presses! Pubescent Male Masturbates!! It’d be more of an FML if he used your iPad to check up on his 401(k) and shop for generic Viagra.
M. Moore 7
Every 12 year old boy ever. Next time, knock. Tell him to put a sock on the doorknob or something. We have signals for private time in our house.
clue_me_in 20
I hope you told his parents.