Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home after spending two days in the hospital for suicidal ideation and found a summons for jury duty in the mail. FML
Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML
Today, after sleeping in, I finally sorted through a stack of mail I had been putting off and I found a Jury summons. Thinking it must be coming up soon, I checked the date, my appearance is scheduled for 7:45am on November 16th. Today is November 17th. FML
Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML
Today, after moving back in with my parents, I found out they had held on to a chunk of mail still being sent during the time I had been changing my old address. Included was a summons to jury duty. FML
Today, I start my second week of jury duty. I was only supposed to do one week of jury duty and then go on a week of a pre-paid vacation. Instead, I’m required to go back to court this week, I’m spending my evenings doing my regular job, and I lost nearly $1,000 that I pre-paid for lodging. FML
Today, in my role as a social worker, I was ordered by the court to take a very pregnant, petite 15-year-old for a prenatal exam. I'm an adult man. As she waddled into her appointment, I turned to see hate-filled stares in the entire waiting room. FML
Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, my professor stated that every student who had perfect attendance would be exempt from taking the final. Having perfect attendance so far, I was thrilled. Then come to find out I have jury duty the day before the exam; she won't excuse my absence. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Were you going to fix that for those who weren’t?
live_to_love 25
that's ok to make mistake. You should have laughed too.
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Comments (7)
Dave_Davington 34
You should've said "...everyone is hairy penis". That's a goof that would've left your dignity and credibility intact.
live_to_love 25
that's ok to make mistake. You should have laughed too.
RichardPencil 32
Were you going to fix that for those who weren’t?
bluhbluhbluh 14
And were they all pregnant?
chosha_fml 27
You could have saved that embarrassment by realising that ‘here’ and ‘present’ (what I assume you meant to say) mean the same thing and that you didn’t need to say it at all.
xepharin 2
Dude, you could have so totally flipped that around and once the laughter died just been like "Good, just making sure you are all paying attention. Now, when I call your name, please say PRESENT" lol.
thisisbutaname 38
And then you ****** all of them