Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
Today, one of my kids thought it would be funny to superglue me to my armchair while I was asleep, except they’re idiots who used way too much. I am now fused to the cushions and had to call an ambulance. FML
Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I took my son to a birthday party. He spent the entire time clinging to my hand and refused to play with his friends, eat, or participate in activities. His friend tried to pull him away from me, but he refused to go. When we left, he started crying because he felt left out. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
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Top comments
rg350dx 29
That kid is an evil genius.
fareith 15
Seems like a great excuse to leave him there and have a quiet night!
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Comments (112)
poetrywriter12 6
Why didn't he just hide in an obvious place and hope you didn't see him like a smart kid!
Chellybelly92 14
To be honest you have to give the kid some credit. He didn't want to leave and what do people do when they don't want something leaving from somewhere, they superglue it. He's young and used reasonable thinking. Grant it, it's not well thought out but he's 6.
chanellgymnast 17
Your kid has a sense of humor!
football98_fml 20
what a clever child, but im just curious to know how thats gonna do any help
Dave_Davington 34
Well, you have to admit, he is a crafty little bugger.
avapaige1234 19
Take him away with the chair and leave him inside his room. That way he won't be able to escape.
SlapAndTickle 20
Do you read?
CaptMurdock 25
What ever happened to just hiding from your parents? Kids these days are so extreme.
LennyComa 39
Some guy in England did that in the Jobcentre....He did it in protest to benefits cut's though, Your Kid is ******* awesome for doing that, give him a cookie and enjoy using that story in years to come to embarrass him with.
TheDrifter 24
Good idea, set a cookie just out of reach of his mouth and watch him struggle to free his hands. Hours of entertainment.
ShakeDisPlace 10
looks like you got a new kitchen table OP
gordogirls 4
I hope u dont mean they should buy the people a new table. Id be hard pressed to help out a person stupid enough to have super glue around young children and Id be sending them the medical expense bill!!
rmoman007 7
Just take the kid and the table lol
dancinwookie 21
That's what I was gonna say. That'll show that lil shit you mean business!
dancinwookie 21
PS. OP, nailpolish remover; it weakens the bond of the super glue. You can get any body part unglued, skin intact, with a little remover and patience.
my_name_is_earl 9
Pull his hands off the table like band aids and there's his punishment.. Who needs fingerprints anyway?